many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

In
this
competitive world,
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
spend longer hours working and have no time for recreational activities. I will deliberate both merits and demerits of
this
trend,
however
, I believe the drawbacks of
this
concept are clearly superior to its advantages. To commence with, a wide spectrum of people ruminate that if they work more, they can earn gigantic wealth and
thus
, they will have a better living standard and can provide the best education to their offspring. What is more, some multitudes don’t prefer to spend unnecessary for the holidays, they save their hard earn money for their pension age in which they don’t have to be dependent on another human.
Consequently
, it can be argued without any scepticism that
this
trend has a plethora of benefits. Shifting towards the flip side of the coin
this
drift has negative effects on the physical wellness of a human being, To elaborate, a person suffers physically after working long hours,
besides
this
, not only the posture is imbalanced, but it
also
leads to several ailments
such
as back pain,
survical
Correct your spelling
survival
cervical
or muscular problems. To cite an epitome, a report from WHO (World Health Organisation) observed that 65% of the population who work overtime complain about physical deformity.
Therefore
, it would be said without any doubt that
this
notion has a detrimental effect on well-being.
Furthermore
, there are demerits which stare us in the face
as a result
of having a hectic schedule which weakens family bonds. There are people who love to have vacations to get a break from their monotonous life;
also
they can spend quality time with their family.
However
, lack of communication can lead to shaking the family values and become a reason for conflicts between them. To illustrate, there are more divorces happening when one partner is spending more hours in his job, and not involved in any leisure exercises.
Hence
, the drawbacks of
this
phenomenon cannot be snubbed. In summation, even though a long shift can improve one’s living standards, but still I believe it has more shortcomings
such
as various health issues, and improper health and
also
creates troubles among family members.
Submitted by sonalidhir278 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: