It is responsibility of government to take care of health of citizens or citizens should take care of their own health. Give your opinion.

#responsibility #government #care #health #citizens

People have different views about whether governments or individuals should be responsible for the retirement/

health

/ unemployment problem of the population. In my opinion, I believe that both authority and citizens should be accountable and collaborative efforts are needed to address

this

issue. On the one hand, the authority has the liability to improve public welfare. Significant taxes should be imposed on junk food, which is detrimental

for

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show examples

health

status and leads to various diseases

such

as diabetes and obesity, and

this

can help to discourage people to consume burgers, carbonated drinks and fries.

Moreover

, governments could invest in

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

hospital

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

to improve the quality of service and reduce the cost of medicines. If a better public

health

service is provided,

for example

, patients will benefit from

this

and save their time as well as a large amount of money. In

this

way, citizens could have access to an improved quality of life.

On the other hand

, residents themselves should

also

take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

show examples

for their own

health

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

Firstly

, they should choose a healthy lifestyle rather than a sedentary one.

For instance

, people should adapt to cycling or jogging

instead

of driving to work if their commuting trip is short.

This

can not only benefit their

health

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apply

show examples

but

also

helpful

Replace the word

help

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to improve air quality, which

also

leads to

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

diseases and longer life expectancy.

Secondly

, complementary

health

insurance is

also

needed to ease their financial burden when citizens are in serious

health

conditions. In conclusion, I believe that

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better physical and mental conditions for each individual could only be achieved by the mutual collaboration between authorities and residents.

Submitted by tincel on Sat Nov 05 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is responsibility of government to take care of health of citizens or citizens should take care of their own health. Give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Many universitiy students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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