It is responsibility of government to take care of health of citizens or citizens should take care of their own health. Give your opinion.

#responsibility #government #care #health #citizens

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People have different views about whether governments or individuals should be responsible for the retirement/

health

Use synonyms

/ unemployment problem of the population. In my opinion, I believe that both authority and citizens should be accountable and collaborative efforts are needed to address

this

Linking Words

issue. On the one hand, the authority has the liability to improve public welfare. Significant taxes should be imposed on junk food, which is detrimental

for

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show examples

health

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status and leads to various diseases

such

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as diabetes and obesity, and

this

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can help to discourage people to consume burgers, carbonated drinks and fries.

Moreover

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, governments could invest in

public

Add an article

the public

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hospital

system

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systems

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to improve the quality of service and reduce the cost of medicines. If a better public

health

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service is provided,

for example

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, patients will benefit from

this

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and save their time as well as a large amount of money. In

this

Linking Words

way, citizens could have access to an improved quality of life.

On the other hand

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, residents themselves should

also

Linking Words

take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

responsibilities

Fix the agreement mistake

responsibility

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for their own

health

Use synonyms

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

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Firstly

Linking Words

, they should choose a healthy lifestyle rather than a sedentary one.

For instance

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, people should adapt to cycling or jogging

instead

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of driving to work if their commuting trip is short.

This

Linking Words

can not only benefit their

health

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Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

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helpful

Replace the word

help

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to improve air quality, which

also

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leads to

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

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diseases and longer life expectancy.

Secondly

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, complementary

health

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insurance is

also

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needed to ease their financial burden when citizens are in serious

health

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conditions. In conclusion, I believe that

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

better physical and mental conditions for each individual could only be achieved by the mutual collaboration between authorities and residents.

Submitted by tincel on Sat Nov 05 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

270 words

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It is responsibility of government to take care of health of citizens or citizens should take care of their own health. Give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness?