IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Introduction
In the current era, many companies try to show the public that their
products
Use synonyms
 are innovative.
This
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 phenomenon might lead to some issues affecting the industries. In the following paragraph, we will explore what might be the causes and my idea towards the latter issue.
Body paragraph 1
There are various reasons for companies to proclaim that their
products
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 are the newest inventions.
Firstly
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, it creates a good innovative image the
company
Use synonyms
 always try to develop,
thus
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, attracting a line of customers who are eager to buy something which never existed before.
Secondly
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, it distinguishes the
company
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 from its competitors in a good way. If a brand continuously innovates, it signals to the public that its research development is working, polishing something to become better.
For example
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, the Apple
Company
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 tries to advertise their recent
products
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 with groundbreaking and different features which they proclaim never existed before. In effect, many folks are eager to buy it, increasing the revenue.
Body paragraph 2
Unfortunately, those kinds of campaigns are sometimes equipped with unhealthy competition because they advertise something
that is
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 not true. They fake information so their
products
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 look different from others, but in reality, it is not.
Moreover
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, hyperbole campaigns could reduce the public's trust towards the industry as the people become tired of their lies.
In other words
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, faking advertisements could lead to unhealthy competition and the public's trust decreases.
Conclusion
To summarize, a hyperbole advertisement could create a good
company
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 image and distinguish it from competitors.
However
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, it
also
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 can lead to unhealthy competition because of its fake image, decreasing the public's trust in the industry.

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Task Response
The essay response addresses the task with a clear discussion of the causes and effects of companies emphasizing product innovation. It provides relevant examples to support the points made. However, the response could benefit from a deeper exploration of the positive and negative aspects of this trend, as well as a more balanced discussion of the two. Additionally, a clearer position on whether the development is positive or negative would strengthen the task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion with a logical structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The paragraphs are connected and flow coherently, and there is effective use of linking words and phrases. However, some areas could be improved by clarifying the relationship between ideas and providing a stronger overall connection between the introduction and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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