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Band 7.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
Nowadays, there are many foods and beverages that have a high
level
 of sweet ingredients which are harmful to our health. Some
people
 argue that increasing the
price
 could decrease consumption. I agree with the solution and I will elaborate on the reasons in the following paragraph.
To begin
 with, high levels of sugar could jeopardize our fitness
level
 and contribute to the main cause of obesity which is very harmful to our bodies.
Furthermore
, it
also
 leads to many severe diseases,
such
 as cancer and diabetes.
For instance
, research from Cornell University shows that consuming 50 grams of sugary products daily could increase the probability of getting diabetes by the age of 40.
In other words
, sweet product consumption above the safe
level
 could cause many health issues. To tackle the aforementioned issue, a
price
 increase is the most effective way to combat the high intake. By raising its cost, some
people
 will not able to afford it,
thus
, only a few
people
 would purchase and consume it.
Moreover
, it
also
 encourages many manufacturers to reduce the sugar ingredients as the production costs become costlier.
For instance
, a soaring tax on sugary foods in the United States successfully decrease production, leading to fewer products in the market.
Therefore
, a soaring
price
 might be the best option to discourage
people
 to consume sweet foods. In conclusion, despite its drawback as it decreases our fitness and leads to many severe diseases. The rising
price
 is the most effective way to combat a high
level
 of its consumption.
Submitted by hpanduhimawan on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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