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Band 6.5

Manufacturers are responsible for the chemicals used and effects of their products? Agree or disagree?

#manufacturers #chemicals #effects #products
With the development of technology and science , the number of
enterprises
 producing various products is increasing year by year. Some
people
 think that manufacturers are responsible for their products and other
people
 are against
this
 idea. I strongly believe that
this
 is the right decision and I will support
this
 view with arguments in the following paragraphs. It is true that the environment is decaying day by day
due to
 various
of
Change preposition
apply
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negative effects . In other words, chemical products and effects
such
 as gas , rubbish and other items should bring air pollution . The reason for
this
 is the overabundance of industrial
enterprises
 and their neglect of the environment.
This
, in turn,hits a lot not only nature but
also
people
's health .
For example
 , nowadays,
due to
 these chemicals, global warming , droughts and natural disasters are occurring, seriously affecting the way of life of many
people
, and in some cases causing death. I think that in order to prevent
this
, the state should take strict control of the
enterprises
 and sometimes they should stop their activity and
that is
 the only way we can prevent air pollution even a little .
However
 ,
such
 industrial
enterprises
 form the basis of the economy .
Therefore
, they play a leading role in the prosperity and well-being of the state . Taking
this
 into account, it is necessary to set some restrictions on some of them .
To sum up
 , taking everything into consideration
although
 chemical
enterprises
 can bring some positive factors, I firmly believe that
this
 cannot outweigh their disadvantages.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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task response
The introduction presents a clear opinion and outlines the main points to be discussed. The conclusion effectively summarizes the author's position.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure, with clear progression of ideas from one point to the next. However, there are instances where the link between ideas is not clearly established.
lexical resource
A wide range of vocabulary is used, demonstrating a good command of lexical resources. However, there are some instances of word choice that may not be the most precise.
grammatical range
The essay shows a good command of grammatical structures, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. However, there are instances of errors in subject-verb agreement and tense consistency.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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