Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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The 21st century is a world of technology, and every person on the planet has a cell
phone
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. Youths who have grown up in these circumstances are going into smartphones. I believe that children should not spend their
time
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on their handphones daily. The reasons are twofold. First and foremost, using a cell
phone
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could affect their physical and mental health.
That is
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to say that they could destroy mental health by being more aggressive and having a sedentary lifestyle.
For example
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, a child, who plays lots of games on their smartphones, could have a sedentary life which brings about various diseases
such
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as obesity, diabetes or the like.
Thus
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, children could have unhealthy lifestyles
due to
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their
phone
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addiction.
Secondly
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, young adults can isolate themselves from the real world. It means that
instead
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of spending
time
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playing sports and doing other activities, they would prefer to stay at home.
For instance
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, a child, who is quite into watching YouTube cartoons or other entertaining programs, would not go outside with friends and even spend
time
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with relatives. It leads to being more isolated , and a child would not be able to have communicative skills.
Therefore
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,
this
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makes it clear that real life would be replaced by digital life. In conclusion, spending their
time
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only on using their
phone
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not only brings about their unhealthy lifestyle but
also
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they can forget about the existing real world. I believe that young adults should not use cell phones every day. It would be better if young people debunked the
phone
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in the foreseeable future.
Submitted by Merey Bolat on

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task response
Improve the logical structure of your essay to enhance coherence and cohesion. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more clearly presented to provide a stronger framework for your argument. Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your main points and fully address the essay prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear and effective structure. Work on creating stronger logical connections between your ideas and develop a more cohesive organization. Pay attention to coherence in your introduction and conclusion to effectively frame your argument and support your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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