Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #support #aid #organizations #attention #celebrities

It is argued that the

celebrities

standing out for charity can attract people’s

awareness

on the contrary

, the opponent thinks that the

celebrities

can weaken the

issue

discussion. I believe that

celebrities

can raise public

awareness

this

important

issue

. On the one hand, people believe that

celebrities

cannot attract public

awareness

because of the following reasons.

Firstly

, the masses are usually more interested in entertainment news.

Along with

the popularity of short videos

such

as Instagram reels and TikTok, people expect to see more stimulus content on social media which can draw more attention, and gossip or personal affairs are the perfect resource.

Thus

, the important

issue

can be weakened

due to

the public being more interested in entertainment news.

Secondly

celebrities

only spark the

issue

but cannot continue the

awareness

Although

celebrities

can catch the masses' attention successfully,

while

once without

celebrities

, the

issue

cannot earn much more

awareness

or discussions which only sparks the problem but lacks the continualness of the

issue

On the other hand

, I believe that

celebrities

can raise public

awareness

due to

the following reasons. First of all,

celebrities

with positive images can raise

awareness

because they usually have more credibility

Change preposition

with

show examples

the public.

Thus

, the public is much more willing to be concerned about the issues the

celebrities

stand for.

Additionally

celebrities

usually have the ability to call into action for their fans. As they worship their idol, the fans will put the same effort to the

issue

with which their idol is concerned.

As a result

celebrities

can call their fans to do the real actions. In conclusion, I believe that

celebrities

can raise public

awareness

this

important

issue

because of their credibility and their call-in-action abilities.

Submitted by cuggikem on Sun Mar 24 2024

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Task Achievement

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Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, your essay has a clear logical structure, and the introduction and conclusion are well-crafted. However, strive to link ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs. Using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph can improve flow and make your arguments more connected.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorse
international aid organizations
public awareness
amplify
advocacy
systemic change
oversimplification
trivialization
undermining
severity
misinformed advocacy
distorts
hamper
guided by experts
constructive
strategically

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Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

More and more people are opting for and consuming ready-made food instead of freshly cooked food. Does this practice has more advantages than disadvantages? Discuss

Population are growing in cities rapidly. What are the effects of it. What solution can you give to maintain a good quality of life in urban cities.

Last month you had a holiday overseas where you stayed with some friends. They have just sent you some photos of your holiday. Write a letter to your friends. In your letter, thank them for the photos and the holiday explain why you didn't write earlier invite them to come and stay with you

The picture illustrates the data about the amount of guests who traveled 4 various genres of travel industries between 1981 and 1999 in the UK.