IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Watching television is bad for children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#television #children
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I think watching
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
is a bad idea but sometimes it can be useful.,Actually it depends on how many minutes
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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people or
kid's spend
Change the verb form
kid spends
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
 in front of the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
.We know that watching TV isn't good for
kid's
Change the noun form
kids
kid
show examples
because of their brain development.When they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
watch the television
in
Change preposition
apply
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hourly that effected their brain function.
That is
Linking Words
 why they shouldn't spend their
time
Use synonyms
 in front of the television.we all know kids love to music,dance or cartoon.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, we know Watching
Correct your spelling
television
televison
Correct your spelling
television
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 many advantages
such
Linking Words
 as enjoyable thing.
That is
Linking Words
 why find all of the enjoyable things
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 television.Yes
of course
Add the comma(s)
, of course,
show examples
 they sometimes can
Correct your spelling
watch
wacth
Correct your spelling
watch
 the
Correct your spelling
Television
Televison
Correct your spelling
Television
 but all the
time
Use synonyms
 we need to be careful,
what
Change preposition
about what
show examples
 they watch.
In
Correct pronoun usage
weIn
show examples
 ,conclusion We do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
a more outdoor activity for the
kid's
Change noun form
kids
show examples
and spend with them quality
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rose_198620 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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