IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

#people #work #company #organization #be #case
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At
present
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,present
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 a large number of
population
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the population
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 want to be self-employed without working under others. According to the growing population of the world, it is very important to be a
self dependent
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self-dependent
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 person, though it
also
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 has a risk of
Correct your spelling
bankrupted
bankruptcy
bank-rupted
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being bank-rupted
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.
To begin
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 with,
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however
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,however
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 the population of maximum countries is increasing very rapidly but the job sector is not developing compare to
this
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. So, .men are trying to stand
their
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on their
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 own feet,
such
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 as in Bangladesh, many students after completing their graduation involve in agriculture by setting
their
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up their
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 own fisheries or dairy firming. Apart from
this
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, it
also
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 makes employment for other public of
this
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 area, which is
also
Linking Words
 very important for the economic development of a country.
Furthermore
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, working in own fisheries or firm
also
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 does not give
stress
Correct article usage
the stress
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 of being jobless as well as other pressure
such
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 as time limit, target filling etc.
On the contrary
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, in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of setting
a
Change preposition
up a
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firm,
fisharies
Correct your spelling
fisheries
,
Correct article usage
a business
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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 need a large fund which is
also
Linking Words
 very tough to manage.
Additionally
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, after taking a big amount of bank loan sometimes people become unable to pay
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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for their losses which
also
Linking Words
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them
a
Correct article usage
apply
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bankrupt
as well as
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, as well as they,
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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lost their full property.
Moreover
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, it
also
Linking Words
 can create
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 in
availability
Correct article usage
the availability
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 of expert manpower for a company. In conclusion,
for
Change preposition
in
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modern
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a modern
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world
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,world
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 it is become beneficial to become self-employed
with
Change preposition
by
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 accepting the risk and problems in
head
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the head
show examples
 as well as be patient and strong to face
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new challenges.
Submitted by amiejoyee on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employed
  • company
  • organization
  • freedom
  • independence
  • income potential
  • flexibility
  • working hours
  • working location
  • passions
  • interests
  • decision-making
  • business practices
  • disadvantages
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