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Band 7.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people
There is no doubt that investing in the population is the key to the future. Nowadays, in some communities, the number of youngsters is way higher than that of the elderly.
Although
 some minimal drawbacks may be noticed, I strongly think that
this
 is an advantageous position. Admittedly, there are a few disadvantages when considering a larger portion of young adults in comparison with older people.
To begin
 with, younger aged persons do usually lack the proper experience.
In other words
, they did not have the chance to learn from their mistakes. To illustrate, while a freshly graduated doctor may find heart transplantation exhausting, aged doctors did have the chance many times.
Therefore
, they become more experienced and yet more beneficial.
Moreover
, those at the beginning of their career are often finically weak.
Thus
, compared to the older ones, will have to face many struggles and issues.
Nevertheless
, despite all the minor negatives mentioned above, I wholeheartedly believe that the advantages are way more important.
Firstly
, having
such
 enthusiastic youth workers would offer a competitive atmosphere.
As a result
, more creativity,
consequently
, better outcomes that will benefit both individuals and communities.
Secondly
, they are often capable of working longer hours and in harder situations. Manual jobs,
for example
, need shaped youth bodies to operate.
Finally
, more production is predicted, as more juniors are there.
In other words
, when a younger part of society exists, magnificently products are usually provided. In conclusion, It is my belief that a large proportion of youngsters compared with the elderly, offer more positivity.
Submitted by hendawi.a on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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