IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People are surrounded by advertisement which has an increase effect on our lives. Do you think the positive effect of this outweigh the negative effects?

#people #advertisement #effect #lives #outweigh #effects
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The
advertisement
Use synonyms
 around us on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
each step, so we can see different types of
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
show examples
 from television, social media, internet applications, billboard, magazines and others. Due to big volume of
advertisement
Use synonyms
, it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 great fluency
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. For
this
Linking Words
reason
Add a comma
,reason
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 I prefer that people have
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
effect
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 overweigh the negative
effect
Use synonyms
. The best advantages of
Use synonyms
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
 are the giving new knowledge and the promotion
goods
Change preposition
of goods
show examples
. Each commercial has a context through which you can learn something new for yourself.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
advertisement
Add an article
an advertisement
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
Iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 14 shows that there is E-sim, which is modern technology, and people do not need
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
physical
Add an article
the physical
show examples
 form of it. As a seller human uses
advertisement
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
promote
Change the verb form
promoting
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 goods or services. Statistics
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
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 sales are more profitable
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when there is a commercial.
However
Linking Words
 unfortunately sometimes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society can give low-quality advertising and commercial for products that harm health,
such
Linking Words
 as cigarettes, alcohol, drugs and others. As known unhealthy advertising has a bad influence on the younger generation.
For example
Linking Words
, the bright pictures from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
glossy magazines or the promotion video became attractive
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 teenagers and adults and
then
Linking Words
 they want to have it. The
next
Linking Words
 disadvantage of
advertisement
Use synonyms
 is a promotion
crime
Change preposition
of crime
show examples
commercial
Fix the agreement mistake
commercials
show examples
,
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
pyramids
Correct the article-noun agreement
pyramid
show examples
, bets and
casino
Fix the agreement mistake
casinos
show examples
. There are many cases when
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
, who
believe
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of
add
Correct your spelling
ad
show examples
,
lose
Correct subject-verb agreement
loses
show examples
 money, family
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
lives
Correct word choice
and lives
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 it
Correct your spelling
shrouded
should
shouded
Correct your spelling
should
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
be note
Change the verb form
be noted
show examples
 that
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
Use synonyms
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
overweigh
Change the verb form
overweighs
show examples
 the negative
effect
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
,Nevertheless
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
critical thinking will be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 assistant to choose
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 product.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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