IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how It will look after redevelopment.

#plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment
The given plans show the layout of the university's
sports
 centre now, and how It will look after redevelopment.
First,
there is a gym in the middle, the central part is surrounded by a 25-meter swimming pool, on the left is a changing room, on the right is a seating area, and below is a reception.
According to
 the future plan,
this
 gym and its surroundings have been expanded and new buildings have been added. As shown in the current presentation, there are outdoor courts in the west and east of that gym, which are considered to be replaced by a leisure pool and
sports
 halls in the future.
In addition
, it is planned to open 2 dance studios next to those halls. Two different changing rooms, a
sports
 shop, and a cafe will be built in these expanded areas.
To sum up
,
this
 university
sports
 centre, which is being developed for the future, will be completely changed and expanded and many new facilities will be added
Submitted by checkmyessay9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Avoid using 'now' and 'how it will look after redevelopment' repetitively. You can combine them efficiently in the introduction to make it more concise.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the use of linking words to improve the flow of the essay. Words like 'Furthermore', 'On the other hand', and 'Meanwhile' will make your points connect more smoothly.
task achievement
Expand descriptions with more specific examples where applicable. Explain what new features may improve the overall functionality and user experience of the sports centre.
task achievement
You have successfully included all major changes and new features in your summary.
coherence cohesion
The essay has clear and logical organization, which helps the reader to understand the proposed changes easily.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an effective summary that encapsulates the essence of the redevelopment plan.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
    What to do next:
    Look at other essays: