Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent years, it has become increasingly common that many graduates from high school prefer working or travelling to only staying at home.

However

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, some people hold the view that working

experience

Use synonyms

is more useful and precious than travel. Personally, I tend to disagree with

this

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view. One main reason in favour of my opinion is that travelling is a great method to improve one's comprehensive abilities, which are valuable in adult life. Before a tour, many factors, including transport, housing, food and so on, need to be taken into consideration and sometimes a traveller should change the tourist attractions

due to

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the change in weather or some accidents.

This

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can significantly improve a person's problem-solving ability and

thus

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traveling is not easier than working.

In addition

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, teenagers in high school often spend the majority of their time committing to studying and increasing their academic performance under heavy peer pressure, with disregard for their physical exercise.

As a result

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, depression and obesity are more obvious than their counterparts in the past.

Thus

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, taking a trip is a good way to contribute to their physical and mental health because of its features of easiness and joyfulness.

On the other hand

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, it is undeniable that accumulating some working

experience

Use synonyms

also

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beneficial to adolescents. The workplace is rather different from school, where they can not only master some practical skills,

such

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as programming and gardening

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

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experience

Use synonyms

the working atmosphere. These can direct their future job choice to some extent and, in the process they can recognise their own limitation and have a clear objective when they go to university. In conclusion, I argue that both working and travelling exert unique and profound effects on young adults, improving their well-being and various skills.

Thus

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, I advise that they can take full advantage of and properly arrange the time before going to university to try to

experience

Use synonyms

both.

Submitted by 1378468145 on Wed Sep 25 2024

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task response

Clarify your main arguments more explicitly in the introduction to clearly outline your essay structure for the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct main idea, and avoid including ideas that could be elaborated in separate paragraphs.

task response

Provide more specific examples to support your claims. This will make your arguments more convincing and your essay more engaging.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that all points made in the essay are directly relevant to the essay question and do not stray from the topic.

task response

The essay presents a balanced view and acknowledges both sides of the argument.

coherence and cohesion

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame the essay well.

coherence and cohesion

The ideas are presented in a logical order, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.

task response

The essay addresses the task requirements by discussing both working and travelling experiences.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

prioritization
financial stability
educational prospects
personal development
health advancements
fertility options
economic uncertainties
parenthood
societal norms
life experience
generational gap
upbringing

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Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that public health is a the respomsiblities of the government while others think that people should br responsibe for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opininon

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Many young people today leave school with a negative attitude towards learning. What is the reason, and what can be done to encourage a positive attitude to learning?