In the current society, more youngsters prefer to live with their parents rather than having their own lives. Although this tendency brings some benefits, I am of the opinion that the drawbacks are more significant.

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These days, a place where young citizens

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

going to live after their graduation and having jobs has been a

Add a hyphen

whistle-blowing

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whistle blowing

Correct your spelling

whistleblowing

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topic and gained

Remove the article

apply

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strong popularity in some nations.

A great deal of

Change the quantifier

A lot of

Many

Plenty of

show examples

young adults

intend

Change the verb form

intends

show examples

to still live with

Use synonyms

parents

Correct pronoun usage

their parents

show examples

. In my opinion, in weighing up the pros and cons of

this

Linking Words

theme, my argument would be on the idea that benefits overwhelm drawbacks. On the one hand, there were several disadvantages indicated

from

Change preposition

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the decision on living with

Use synonyms

parents

Correct pronoun usage

my parents

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despite being graduated and

employed

Add a missing verb

being employed

show examples

. The

first

Linking Words

demerit would be that the sense of independence of the one who lives in

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the parent

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parent

Change noun form

parent's

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house is not as high as that of the one who moves out. I mean when living with

parents

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, the young do not need to do all the household

choirs

Correct your spelling

chores

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and pay for living costs on their own.

This

Linking Words

part of young habitants continues to be dependent on their

parents

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despite their age and

mature

Replace the word

maturity

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Moreover

Linking Words

, the young people will have to chance to be under pressure of rent. With that said, they were discouraged to earn money. For that reason,

this

Linking Words

kind of

people

Fix the agreement mistake

person

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can effortlessly become inactive and indolent.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, staying with

parents

Use synonyms

brings people different merit.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the young generation can enjoy

the

Correct article usage

show examples

comfortable life without

stresses

Correct article usage

the stresses

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of rent or expenditure.

In addition

Linking Words

, there is always someone who can listen to problems and is willing to give invaluable

Correct your spelling

advice

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

Secondly

Linking Words

, young adults would have more opportunities to care for their

parents

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and help them whenever they are in need

such

Linking Words

as repairing machines, doing housework and

health

Add a missing verb

doing health

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examination in

Add an article

the hospital

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hospital

Fix the agreement mistake

hospitals

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together.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, living with

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

their parent

show examples

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

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when they are in the later stage of life can bring happiness to them. Children and

parents

Use synonyms

have more time to confide problems,

thoughts

Correct word choice

and thoughts

show examples

to each other, which definitely strengthens the family relationship and makes every member happy all the time. I believe that the

last

Linking Words

merit is the most meaningful advantage of living in

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

a parent

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parent

Change noun form

parent's

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house. In conclusion, continuing to live together with

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

your parent

show examples

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

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brings both good and bad sides.

However

Linking Words

, I suppose that young

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

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should live with their

parent

Use synonyms

and try to

Add a missing verb

be more

show examples

concern

Replace the word

concerned

show examples

about their mothers and fathers and express

the

Change the word

their

show examples

love towards them

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

through conversation and being helpful.

trancaomaitrangMon Nov 07 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

383 words

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In the current society, more youngsters prefer to live with their parents rather than having their own lives. Although this tendency brings some benefits, I am of the opinion that the drawbacks are more significant.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Other believes the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Write a letter to a friend. You have borrowed something from your friend and it got damaged. a) apologize for damaging the product b) explain what happened c) say how are you going to fix the issue

Many governments spend too much money on weapons and military equipment. It would be better for the government to use the money spent on the military to improve its citizens' quality of life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?