Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Other believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Health awareness had drastically increased over the years.

However

this

realisation has come with the alarming surge of diseases. While many

people

think they should be responsible for their own health others believes it is the government's duty to do it. In the following ,paragraphs I will discuss both of the views and explain

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the good rationale behind them.

Firstly

every individual has free will and they should not be forced to do anything. Requirements for a healthier lifestyle can not be suitable for everyone because they may be too hard to apply.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

choosing not to smoke might be great for the lungs but some

people

prefer to enjoy the moment rather than long-term health benefits. Since society members are free to do anything, nothing should be forced upon them.

On the other hand

, the government can promote healthier living. Authorities have the power to

augmenting

Wrong verb form

augment

show examples

peoples’ behaviour

such

providing

Change preposition

by providing

show examples

free gym memberships, building pools for folks or preparing organic food for schoolchildren. With

this

kind of

Fix the agreement mistake

action

show examples

actions

Add a comma

,actions

show examples

people

will be more encouraged to choose the right option for their good. To sum up, I believe each person’s life and decisions are ultimately in their own control,

on the contrary

governments might enact laws and offer benefits to the populace to encourage

people

to act better. I think both of them need to play an equal part in themselves and society.

Submitted by akbasmea on Mon Nov 07 2022

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Other believe that government should take care of it. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is important to focus on the present. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

The population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Why is that

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?