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Writing Samples
Band 6

People are of the opinion that children’s behavior should be controlled by their parents and teachers. Others do believe that children should be free to do as they like. Discuss both views and state your opinion

#people #children’s #behavior #parents #teachers #children
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On the one hand,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
 that
parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers should control
Change noun form
children's
show examples
childrens'
Correct your spelling
children's
show examples
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other people claim that
children
Use synonyms
 should control them. From my point of view, on the one
way
Use synonyms
, every
Use synonyms
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 should have a '
controller
Use synonyms
',
such
Linking Words
 as they can give them
light
Correct article usage
a light
show examples
future
Use synonyms
. On the other
way
Use synonyms
, if
parents
Use synonyms
 give
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
freedom
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
children
Use synonyms
, it can cross them to
crime
Use synonyms
. At all times, every child has been
educating
Wrong verb form
educated
show examples
 by teachers or
parents
Use synonyms
. It is clear that every youngster from
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
 age should have a good '
controller
Use synonyms
' of their
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because their own
future
Use synonyms
 depends
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 them. A '
controller
Use synonyms
' could be people
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a
teacher
Use synonyms
,
parents
Use synonyms
, a tutor and so on. These 'controllers' can point to
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
way
Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, at school studies a pupil with the worst
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in class, so he can spoil
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the class,
however
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
 should not miss it, because he would spoil all guys
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 class.
Use synonyms
Teacher
Add an article
The teacher
A teacher
show examples
 can put him on the right
way
Use synonyms
, and educate his
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the right
way
Use synonyms
 too. So the main task of a
teacher
Use synonyms
 is
educate
Fix the infinitive
to educate
show examples
 him on time. It is clear that not educated people in the
future
Use synonyms
 can be bad personalities,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 pickpockets, burglaries, vandalists and shoplifters. If
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
Add a missing verb
does have
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 not his own
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
'
controller
Use synonyms
' it can cross them with
Use synonyms
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
. Obviously that if
parents
Use synonyms
 do not educate their offspring
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 to choose
a friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
friends
a friend
show examples
, they will be appeared in bad company, where
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 accomplish bad deals,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can cross
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
Use synonyms
crime
Change preposition
to crime
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a teenager has linked to a person who sells drugs,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in the near
future
Use synonyms
 he will be a '
crimer
Correct your spelling
crime
crimes
'. Or on the other example,
offspring
Correct word choice
if offspring
show examples
 see that someone is robbing
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
 phone from a person, it is likely that he will be a pickpocketer. In conclusion, I want to say that all
parents
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 and tutors have to give education to
Use synonyms
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 offspring
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because it can prevent
crime
Use synonyms
 and other bad
accomplish
Replace the word
accomplishments
show examples
.
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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