People are of the opinion that children’s behavior should be controlled by their parents and teachers. Others do believe that children should be free to do as they like. Discuss both views and state your opinion

On the one hand,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
that
parents
and teachers should control
Change noun form
children's
show examples
childrens'
Correct your spelling
children's
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
On the other hand
, other people claim that
children
should control them. From my point of view, on the one
way
, every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
should have a '
controller
',
such
as they can give them
light
Correct article usage
a light
show examples
future
. On the other
way
, if
parents
give
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
freedom
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
children
, it can cross them to
crime
. At all times, every child has been
educating
Wrong verb form
educated
show examples
by teachers or
parents
. It is clear that every youngster from
early
Add an article
an early
show examples
age should have a good '
controller
' of their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because their own
future
depends
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
them. A '
controller
' could be people
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
a
teacher
,
parents
, a tutor and so on. These 'controllers' can point to
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
way
children
.
For example
, at school studies a pupil with the worst
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
in class, so he can spoil
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the class,
however
,
teacher
Add an article
the teacher
a teacher
show examples
should not miss it, because he would spoil all guys
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
class.
Teacher
Add an article
The teacher
A teacher
show examples
can put him on the right
way
, and educate his
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the right
way
too. So the main task of a
teacher
is
educate
Fix the infinitive
to educate
show examples
him on time. It is clear that not educated people in the
future
can be bad personalities,
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
pickpockets, burglaries, vandalists and shoplifters. If
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
Add a missing verb
does have
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
not his own
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
'
controller
' it can cross them with
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
. Obviously that if
parents
do not educate their offspring
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
to choose
a friends
Correct the article-noun agreement
friends
a friend
show examples
, they will be appeared in bad company, where
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
accomplish bad deals,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can cross
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
crime
Change preposition
to crime
show examples
.
For instance
, if a teenager has linked to a person who sells drugs,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in the near
future
he will be a '
crimer
Correct your spelling
crime
crimes
'. Or on the other example,
offspring
Correct word choice
if offspring
show examples
see that someone is robbing
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
phone from a person, it is likely that he will be a pickpocketer. In conclusion, I want to say that all
parents
,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
and tutors have to give education to
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
offspring
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because it can prevent
crime
and other bad
accomplish
Replace the word
accomplishments
show examples
.
Submitted by bekzodeshonjonovv on

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

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Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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