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Band 8

It is not wise for an industry to replace its inexperienced but old workers with new and young yet inexperienced individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#industry #workers #individuals
It is widely believed that it is inappropriate for a company to terminate their contract with long-term experienced staff, and employ new inexperienced crowd who are cheaper. Personally, I feel
this
 policy is unwise and cruel, and ought to be phased out. I strongly support
this
 view against most enterprises and will elucidate my idea in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, the industries known for
this
 policy of replacing their old employees with new ones tend to have staff members void of commitment.
That is
, the individuals in
such
 a working environment will not be devoted, or contribute their quota effectively for the growth of the firm.
For example
, a man who has worked in Macdonalds for almost a decade suddenly gets sacked without a cogent reason, more often than not, solely based on MacDonald's law of replacement. Other gangs on hearing of the changes would act nonchalantly which is attributed to the fact that they may be abandoned someday by their employers,
hence
 resulting in a possible dramatic decrease in the general productivity of the eatery.
Additionally
,
this
 act from the superiors creates stiff competition among staff members thereby leading to both physical and psychological stress in them.
Furthermore
, abandoning the experienced ones for starters means a company is giving up on skills for novices and amateurs,
this
 can devalue the enterprise
as well as
 have a negative impact on stock prices. To buttress
this
, the well-adapted squad have a higher tendency to effectively deliver their teams' projects on time and accurately.
For instance
, a business analyst who has been in the manufacturing industry for a long time is well acquainted with the team, the company's policies and expectations
as well as
 the stakeholders with high power and interest. It is inevitable that
this
 analyst will easily proffer viable solutions for any project within a stipulated timeframe but I won't say the same for a starter.
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure to add a conclusion paragraph to effectively wrap up your arguments. A good conclusion reinforces your main points and restates your stance clearly.
clear comprehensive ideas
While your main points are supported with relevant examples, try to ensure that all points are thoroughly explained within each paragraph. Avoid overly long sentences which may reduce the clarity of your ideas.
relevant specific examples
Your essay provides relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, making your points more convincing.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph building upon the previous one to advance your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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