Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in violent media. Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the

last

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50 years, violent

media

Use synonyms

has become an alarming issue. Some believe that

this

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type of

media

Use synonyms

has influenced young people greatly and caused the violence rate among

this

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age range to increase significantly. I totally agree with

this

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viewpoint. Analyzing both the inability of younger generations to differentiate a movie-based scenario and a real-life situation and how the

media

Use synonyms

promotes aggressive action as a solution to one’s problems will show

this

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Firstly

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, kids could unintentionally copy actions from violent scenes that they see. The reason for

this

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is that the

media

Use synonyms

such

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a consumer-driven industry,

therefore

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, violent scenes are often made to appeal to those of all ages to capitalize on their attention.

For example

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, a full-on fight scene action movie will be a better seller than any other non-action work. Unfortunately.

This

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kind of movie usually aims at being as real as possible, which ultimately blurs the line between real life and the virtual world and leads kids to think that it is appropriate to do what a character does.

Secondly

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, the

media

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tends to promote violence as a way to resolve problems. The appeal of violent scenes is that they provide a satisfying response to common conflicts which are emotionally shared among people at young ages.

For instance

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, Korean movies mostly bring up a fight scene as an instant

strike back

Correct your spelling

strikeback

at bullying in schools.

Such

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is an unwanted reaction which may worsen the situation and result in more fighting. From

this

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, it becomes quite evident that the

media

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, especially the violent ones, will encourage people to act more aggressively. In conclusion, violent

media

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should be held accountable for how children’s behaviours get influenced and for creating distorted views on how children can use violence to cope with unwanted conflicts.

Thus

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this

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is clear why the rate of young violent offenders is getting higher and higher. To ensure that

this

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type of

media

Use synonyms

stops affecting children negatively, governments should put more emphasis on content screening and put forward more age restrictions on sensitive ones.

Submitted by thuthu.anhbui on Wed Oct 09 2024

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task achievement

Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which will strengthen your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.

coherence cohesion

The ideas presented in the essay are generally clear and logically structured, maintaining a coherent argument throughout.

task achievement

Your response fully addresses the task by discussing the impact of violent media on youth violence.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Violence among young people has increased dramatically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in violent media. Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagree?

Sending criminals to prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are better ways to help them. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays young people are admiring media and sports stars, even though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, with the advancement of technology, people can work and live anywhere they want. Do its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think that the modern communication technology is having a negative effect on a social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more children are being brought up in single parent families. What are the causes of this? What effects can be seen as a result of this?