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Band 6

Some people believe more actions can be done to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. What is your opinion?

#people #actions #crime
It is controversial that if
crime
 can be prevented by taking
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
. In
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
 essay, I am going to discuss my viewpoints and the reasons why I believe that there is something we can do before people commit a
crime
.
To begin
 with, education is the most important thing that we can do to reduce
crime
Add an article
the crime
show examples
 rate. In
school
, students are learning a sense of morality and laws from teachers. It is essential for children to develop a good personality and realize the consequences of committing a
crime
 which makes them well-behaved after entering society.
For example
, every high
school
 student in Taiwan needs to participate in a speech about drug use in
school
. The speaker will show pictures of drug users who are not only sent to prisons but have horrifying appearances due to the side effects. The educational speech makes students realize the punishment for drug use so that they will avoid doing it in the future.
Moreover
, having more severe laws and making the punishments for committing an offence more severe are helpful to reduce the number of criminals. Take Singapore as an example, it has been ranked the safest country for several years. That results from horrifying punishments like caning and hanging. In conclusion, the major function of
school
, education, is the most effective way to reduce the possibility of committing a
crime
for
Change preposition
among
show examples
 students when they grow up.
Besides
, for the government, making the consequences of
crime
 more strict is
also
 a beneficial way to prevent civilians from becoming a criminal.
Submitted by Yuting20722 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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