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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

People are of the opinion that children’s behavior should be controlled by their parents and teachers. Others do believe that children should be free to do as they like. Discuss both views and state your opinion

#people #children’s #behavior #parents #teachers #children
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Some individuals believe that the way how children act should be under their
Use synonyms
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
control
Use synonyms
, while others claim that
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 should be given freedom and they decide how to perform on their own. Personally
I
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, agree with both statements at
certain
Add an article
a certain
show examples
 point and assume
Use synonyms
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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 should have
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
particular independence in their actions,
however
Linking Words
, its
scopes
Fix the agreement mistake
scope
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 must be managed by their
parents
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.      
Parents
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 are responsible for their minors until they attain their majority.
Hence
Linking Words
,
parents
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 take some
control
Use synonyms
 of their children since they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
do not have enough mature
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 to make reasonable decisions by themselves. In my opinion, lack of parental
control
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 of
Use synonyms
child's
Correct article usage
a child's
show examples
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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 can result in a failure for their
child
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,
such
Linking Words
 as alcohol or drug addictions,
crime
Correct word choice
and crime
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, prodigal supervision from the direction of
mother
Correct article usage
the mother
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 or father prevents
minor's
Correct article usage
the minor's
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 personality development, which makes
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
depend on their
Use synonyms
parents'
Correct your spelling
parents
show examples
 or society's opinions and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
not be able to settle on their own.
In addition
Linking Words
 to the above, giving a
child
Use synonyms
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
absolute freedom
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 can ruin their future and as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
mentioned earlier the
Correct your spelling
cause
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
 of it will be
Correct article usage
an immatures'
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immatures'
Change noun form
immatures
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 light attitude
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 life and no consideration about the consequences
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 while deciding serious problems.         To conclude, in my point of view,
patents
Correct your spelling
parents
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 should give their
Use synonyms
child
Add a hyphen
child-free
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free
Correct article usage
a free
show examples
 hand to the right degree in
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 as well as
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
 them under reasonable
control
Use synonyms
 and in case of need give the best orientation.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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