IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible.others believe that some information is too valuable to be shared freely. discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #information
A group of people thought that sharing free
knowledge
 in scientific, economic, and machinery is good, while others argued that quality intelligence should be charged. I consider that it is necessary to pay for valuable
knowledge
.
First
 of all, scientific research and automation provided freely would be reached by many people. Nowadays, many online newspapers provide news online without any cost.
Thus
, human
knowledge
 will be increased significantly, specifically in crucial fields like medical treatments and computers.
For instance
, many high school students are interested in the new technology of the 21st century. Because they are under 18, paying for kind information is impossible;
therefore
, choosing to read free online intelligence is their only choice even though the information has not been checked yet.
On the other hand
, I believe that a charge for quality instruction involved in modernization, and technology is necessary. Collecting fees help researchers make more trustworthy research;
moreover
, they will have an expense for findings in the future.
For example
, the well-known online paper “The Verge” charged their high-end customers 15 dollars annually, after paying the fee, every news their user read was carefully censorship by their experts.
Furthermore
, those who have paid money will be more responsible, they will read valuable information more often, leading to an increase in citizens’
knowledge
 dramatically. In conclusion, free articles are not having any negative effects on their readers;
however
, I supposed that paying for condition intelligence is a better choice for us to raise awareness about the latest crucial things on the Earth.
Submitted by namkhanh.tran2310 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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