Some people believe the purpose of education is to make people useful to society. Others believe it is to prepare them to achieve their ambitions. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Individuals are divided in their opinion regarding the context of academic learning. To someone, the
moto
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motto

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of studying should be providing services to the community whereas many others think
main
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the main

The noun phrase main intention seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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intention of a student should be achieving their own goals. Both
school
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schools

The singular countable noun school follows the quantifier Both, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of
thoughts
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thought

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make sense to
certain
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a certain

The noun phrase certain extent seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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extent and
hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

both sides of the argument will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
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with, it is obvious that persons with organizational learnings can contribute to the development of
nation
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a nation

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more efficiently through their specialized knowledge and expertise in
partcular
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particular

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fields of their studies.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when someone studies medical science society
desire
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desires

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him/her to serve in
the
Correct article usage
apply

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healthcare institutions in order to ensure
medical
Correct article usage
the medical

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treatment of the general public.
Therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, almost every field of
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study

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stydy
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study

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has a core motive to serve
the
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apply

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society and no learner can deny
the
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this

The word the doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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fact.
Againg
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Again
Ageing

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, one of the
significance
Change to a plural noun
significances

The singular countable noun significance follows the quantifier one, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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of
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is to make a person free of societal restrictions. According to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

point of view,
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be for the freedom of one's own choices so that s/he can be anything they want whether it
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings

It seems that the verb bring does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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societal benefit or not.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, One may have the desire to be a singer which seems unimportant to run a nation but
they
Correct pronoun usage
one

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should have the right to build his career in
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singing
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singings
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singing

The word singings doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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as long as it does not harm citizens.
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In fact
Infact
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In fact

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, songs can play
vital
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a vital

The noun phrase vital role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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role in recreation related to
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people's
peopls'
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people'

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mental health which is not any less important.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, after pondering both
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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views,
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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can say whatever the purpose people think of learning,
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

always
serve
Change the verb form
serves

The plural verb serve does not appear to agree with the singular subject education. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the well-being of society either directly or indirectly.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, to conclude, the
moto
Correct your spelling
motto

The word moto doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

does not necessarily lie on any sole objective rather it is for the betterment of
nation
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the nation

The noun phrase nation seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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as a whole.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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