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Band 7.5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people’s health. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #cities #people’s #health
It is commonly argued that
people
 who live in metropolitans have a higher chance of suffering from bad
health
 conditions. I somewhat agree with the statement and
this
 essay will discuss both sides.
To begin
 with, there are a number of factors in big
cities
 which are thought to have a bad effect on
people
's
health
.
First
 and foremost, it is true that many different kinds of pollution are being produced in urban
areas
 as higher populations have gathered to live than in other
areas
.
Thus
, light pollution,
for example
, distracts the citizens from having a sound sleep at night, which is indirectly concerned with
people
's
health
 issues. Not only are there indirect factors, but air pollution from exhaust fumes from cars can directly afflict the condition of the public's lungs. Considering the fact that
people
 living in urban
areas
 are completely surrounded by those, it seems absurdly bad to live in
cities
.
On the other hand
, it is
also
 essential
how
Change preposition
to how
show examples
 close medical facilities are to residential
areas
.
Firstly
, especially when it comes to the elderly, they need to get an off-and-on medical service, since their
health
 condition could be irregularly worse for many reasons.
Nonetheless
, living in the countryside where
people
 live rather scattered, they do not have as many facilities as in
cities
, nor does it take much more time to go to the hospital or emergency clinic.
Therefore
, it is of great importance that they can be treated and cured whenever they are in an urgent situation. To conclude, even though there are some specific reasons why rural
areas
 are exposed to a certain medical
crisis
Fix the agreement mistake
crises
show examples
, I believe that
cities
 are a more inappropriate place to live in as far as
health
 is concerned.
Submitted by johndaegeun on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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