It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
The debate over whether or not saving
money
is essential for all walks of life has sparked considerable controversy. Use synonyms
While
some assume that the elderly should be spared doing that, I vehemently believe it is equally vital for all Linking Words
generations
to invest Use synonyms
due to
the reasons Linking Words
this
essay Linking Words
further
elaborates on.
Linking Words
To begin
with, younger Linking Words
generations
including children and teenagers would cultivate financial skills by saving Use synonyms
money
. With the knowledge imparted by their parents and other influential figures, they'd learn how to budget their Use synonyms
money
wisely, ultimately improving their critical thinking and sensible resource management. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, in terms of adults, the majority of them are contemplating forming a family. Linking Words
Consequently
, investing would assist them to afford the requirements for a marriage Linking Words
such
as accommodation much easier. Regarding the elderly, who are significantly prone to distinct ailments, budgeting Linking Words
money
would come to their advantage when facing health conditions, reducing their reliance on other people. To illustrate, a survey conducted in Iran demonstrated that members of families in which saving Use synonyms
money
was prevalent proved to be more forward-thinking, independent, and ready to start a new family.
Use synonyms
However
, some may claim that older Linking Words
generations
have had a fair share of budgeting throughout their lifetime. Use synonyms
As a result
, in their Linking Words
last
years, they should be free to act spontaneously and be adventurous, enjoying their lives to the utmost. Linking Words
Moreover
, they have worked sufficiently to have enough resources to rely on in case of catastrophes. Linking Words
Hence
, they should divert their focus and resources to recreational activities Linking Words
such
as travelling, ensuring they're addressing their unfulfilled desires. Linking Words
For instance
, Iranian people who are in their late 70s and have travelled a lot, often report high levels of life satisfaction. Despite some accuracy to Linking Words
this
notion, pursuing it often comes at the cost of being highly dependent on others, shattering their self-confidence; Linking Words
therefore
, the situation calls for striking a balance between expenditure and investment.
In conclusion, Linking Words
although
some advocate that it will be most conducive to the elderly's happiness if they aren't cautious about their budget, I firmly believe all Linking Words
generations
should do so. In fact, by maintaining a balance between saving Use synonyms
money
and squandering, they'd not only ensure a healthier mindset and fewer financial concerns but Use synonyms
also
be more self-reliant.Linking Words
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction is clear and concise. Avoid phrases like 'this essay further elaborates on.' A more direct approach would enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect paragraphs with more evident transitional phrases to further enhance the essay’s flow.
task achievement
Ensure all your ideas are thoroughly developed. Sometimes the argument in favor of the elderly saving money could be further elaborated to clarify its importance.
task achievement
Your essay showcases a thorough understanding of the topic with strong, relevant examples, especially the Iranian survey and the travel example.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-supported.
coherence cohesion
The argument is well-balanced, recognizing opposing views while substantiating your stance convincingly.