It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The debate over whether or not saving

money

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is essential for all walks of life has sparked considerable controversy.

While

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some assume that the elderly should be spared doing that, I vehemently believe it is equally vital for all

generations

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to invest

due to

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the reasons

this

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essay

further

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elaborates on.

To begin

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with, younger

generations

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including children and teenagers would cultivate financial skills by saving

money

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. With the knowledge imparted by their parents and other influential figures, they'd learn how to budget their

money

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wisely, ultimately improving their critical thinking and sensible resource management.

Furthermore

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, in terms of adults, the majority of them are contemplating forming a family.

Consequently

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, investing would assist them to afford the requirements for a marriage

such

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as accommodation much easier. Regarding the elderly, who are significantly prone to distinct ailments, budgeting

money

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would come to their advantage when facing health conditions, reducing their reliance on other people. To illustrate, a survey conducted in Iran demonstrated that members of families in which saving

money

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was prevalent proved to be more forward-thinking, independent, and ready to start a new family.

However

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, some may claim that older

generations

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have had a fair share of budgeting throughout their lifetime.

As a result

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, in their

last

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years, they should be free to act spontaneously and be adventurous, enjoying their lives to the utmost.

Moreover

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, they have worked sufficiently to have enough resources to rely on in case of catastrophes.

Hence

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, they should divert their focus and resources to recreational activities

such

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as travelling, ensuring they're addressing their unfulfilled desires.

For instance

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, Iranian people who are in their late 70s and have travelled a lot, often report high levels of life satisfaction. Despite some accuracy to

this

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notion, pursuing it often comes at the cost of being highly dependent on others, shattering their self-confidence;

therefore

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, the situation calls for striking a balance between expenditure and investment. In conclusion,

although

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some advocate that it will be most conducive to the elderly's happiness if they aren't cautious about their budget, I firmly believe all

generations

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should do so. In fact, by maintaining a balance between saving

money

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and squandering, they'd not only ensure a healthier mindset and fewer financial concerns but

also

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be more self-reliant.

bita.rezaei7052Thu Jul 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure your introduction is clear and concise. Avoid phrases like 'this essay further elaborates on.' A more direct approach would enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Try to connect paragraphs with more evident transitional phrases to further enhance the essay’s flow.

task achievement

Ensure all your ideas are thoroughly developed. Sometimes the argument in favor of the elderly saving money could be further elaborated to clarify its importance.

task achievement

Your essay showcases a thorough understanding of the topic with strong, relevant examples, especially the Iranian survey and the travel example.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are well-supported.

coherence cohesion

The argument is well-balanced, recognizing opposing views while substantiating your stance convincingly.

17
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

373 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time.

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?