Write about the following topic: Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
It could be noticed that some
of
Change preposition
apply
the
young Correct article usage
apply
use
smartphones
for hours each day. There are certainly some causes to
Change preposition
of
this
phenomenon and I think that it is negative.
Several reasons contribute to this
increasingly prominent situation. To begin
with, the development of technology and the enormous flow of cheaper smartphones
in the market make children
have
easier access to them. Nowadays, nearly every family can afford to buy one or even more Unnecessary verb
apply
Change preposition
of this
this
phones so no wonder Correct determiner usage
these
children
can use
it
frequently. Correct pronoun usage
them
Second
, some adults do not set a good example and sometimes they just allow kids to indulge themselves. For instance
, some parents do not control their children
's using smartphones
; however
, they watch videos on Tiktok together with their children
.
No one can deny that smartphone
can benefit Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
children
to a certain degree since the videos they watch and the games they play could be educational and informative, which may broaden their horizons and train their hands-on ability. However
, this
development may serve as
an extremely bad purpose if Change preposition
apply
children
spent too much time on phones. For one thing, watching the screen for hours does harm to children
's eyes, which usually gives rise to short-sightedness. For instance
, it should be noted that an increasing number of children
put on Correct your spelling
eyeglasses
eye glasses
at younger ages. For another, the more Correct your spelling
eyeglasses
children
use
smartphones
, the more they are likely encounter
violent or sexual images, which disappoints and upsets quite a few parents.
To conclude, Add the particle
to encounter
the
technology, Correct article usage
apply
market
Correct article usage
the market
as well as some adults
are mainly responsible for the existence of the situation, and the drawbacks of Add the comma(s)
, as well as some adults,
children
’s playing smartphones
for hours long should be fully recognised. It is encouraged that all Change preposition
on smartphones
the
young people Correct article usage
apply
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
use
such
a digital device for good purpose
and within Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
time
limit.Add an article
the time
a time
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite