IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Governments give a lot of supprt to artists, even though some people think it is a wast of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#governments #supprt #artists #people #wast #money
Some argue that providing
funds
 for
artists
 is a
waste
 of
money
instead
 we could use it elsewhere. Even though not providing
funds
 that
artists
 needed can reduce the cost, but,
funds
 are required until an artist develops on his own. I believe that every aspirant who is capable of putting their nation at the pinnacle is worth getting
funds
 from the state government for allowance till they reach the peach of their career
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because every creator needs time of their own to transform something they envisioned, in the ,meanwhile the food doesn't come by itself on your table they need
money
, by allowing
money
 from the states the artist can achieve his success in less time due to fewer hazes he has to dealt with on regular basis.
for example
; Tesla is funded by Jp morgan for all his research which boosts tesla's confidence in every experiment that he made.
On the other hand
, some say that it was a complete
waste
 of
money
, the main reason being, not everyone can be successful in
this
 particular career,
this
 is a hostile area for investing
money
 into, some people peak their career early on while may not even achieve them
that is
 the reason most of the people are completely against the government giving taxpayers
money
 to
artists
 of any sort,
for instance
; not every artist is driven like Picasso,
this
 will hurt some of the aspirants but truly most of them of do it as fun and some others lose their love for art altogether. In conclusion, the Government supporting
artists
 in any order
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 can develop the identity of the nation, even though some argue not to
waste
 it, The allowance that they get will helps them a lot in many different ways. even went most people are against it because of the reason they think it's a
waste
 of
money
.
Submitted by alliswell4usai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: