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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #person #phone #access #internet #money #unemployment
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It is sometimes claimed that the best way of reducing the rate of unemployment is giving a smartphone with Internet access to all folks who are seeking an occupation and the government should pay for it from the community’s taxes. I absolutely disagree with
this
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 statement. And
this
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assay
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essay
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 will extensively explain reasons to support my opinion based on real-life examples. It is totally wrong to place a premium on contributing a mobile to an employed individual for finding an appropriate vocation is a strategic mistake due to the following reasons.
Firstly
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, the majority of unemployed persons are not able to use smartphones and it is practically impossible to teach them how to work with them within a short period of time.
Secondly
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, albeit nowadays a great number of people are familiar with new technologies, in most cases they fail to fulfil in getting along with surfing the Internet in order to find a suitable occupation.
For instance
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, it is an irrational expectation from elderly job seekers to take advantage of phones like younger generations and deal with job websites easily, as in many cases those sites are tricky things even for youngsters.
In addition
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, providing all jobless individuals with cells will cost the government a huge amount of public money, which is unacceptable.
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,
instead
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 of investing in the public healthcare system, educational system, or helping handicapped members of society, the authorities will channel
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 money to people who are not able to get jobs on their own.
Consequently
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, it will lead to a weaker position in the country’s infrastructure and poor satisfying the essential needs of society.
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, increasing the cost of providing mobiles can possibly contribute to a shortage of funds for education aspect which has unbelievably bad effects on the future of the country. In a nutshell, analyzing the above, we can conclude that
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 some persons strongly believe that giving cell phones and internet access to vocation seekers is the best way of decreasing the number of
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. I claim that it is an absolutely ineffective approach to solving the existing problem.
Submitted by riveraeka55 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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