These days people prefer to watch live performances (shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of that event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Online
events
become more and more popular among societies. Lots of people
are keen on attending shows or concerts remotely, while
some people
are on the opposite side. I believe that the attitude of online participating in events
is respected and I almost agree with it.
Watching performances online has two vital points including convenience and saving money. With regards to the former one, online participation in events
provides much more convenient access to the place
, just with a click of a mouse, it is also
obvious that people
can get access to the events
from their place
and accordingly
they don't
have to be on roads. In terms of the latter one
, performances provide low prices and even free tickets for online audiences because the managers don'Correct pronoun usage
apply
t
have to provide them with a specific sitting place
or something else. Thus
, watching live performances on tv
or PC increases the feeling of convenience and Correct your spelling
TV
also
is a money-saving approach.
On the other hand
, some people
may think online participation in events
is not an appropriate way to attend. There is one related negative point. If people
didn't
go physically to the place
, they wouldn't
receive the main sense of the show or concerts. For instance
, considering a classical music concert, listeners emotionally engage more with the concert thanks to the high-quality sound systems and surrounding environment which is definitely not possible through TV or computers. Hence
, the emotional transfer can be damaged partially in online events
.
In conclusion, regarding remote events
, although
there is a negative point in terms of feelings, I think positive points are much more important. Human beings naturally follow convenience and appreciate saving attitudes. So I partially agree with this
approach.Submitted by mahjoubitina on
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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing the convenience and cost-saving benefits of online performances, you could mention specific events or statistics that illustrate how people save money and time by watching from home.
task achievement
To improve your task response score, it might help to more explicitly state whether you agree or disagree, and to what extent, at the beginning of the essay to clearly set up your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, neatly framing your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are generally clear and well-organized, with a logical flow from one paragraph to the next.
task achievement
You effectively cover both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced view.