These days people prefer to watch live performances (shows, concerts) through tv or computer, online rather than go to the place of that event. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #performances #concerts #tv #computer #place #event

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Online

events

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become more and more popular among societies. Lots of

people

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are keen on attending shows or concerts remotely,

while

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

are on the opposite side. I believe that the attitude of online participating in

events

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is respected and I almost agree with it. Watching performances online has two vital points including convenience and saving money. With regards to the former one, online participation in

events

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provides much more convenient access to the

place

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, just with a click of a mouse, it is

also

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obvious that

people

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can get access to the

events

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from their

place

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and

accordingly

Linking Words

they don'

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have to be on roads. In terms of the latter

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, performances provide low prices and even free tickets for online audiences because the managers don'

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have to provide them with a specific sitting

place

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or something else.

Thus

Linking Words

, watching live performances on

Correct your spelling

show examples

or PC increases the feeling of convenience and

also

Linking Words

is a money-saving approach.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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may think online participation in

events

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is not an appropriate way to attend. There is one related negative point. If

people

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didn'

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go physically to the

place

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, they wouldn'

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receive the main sense of the show or concerts.

For instance

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, considering a classical music concert, listeners emotionally engage more with the concert thanks to the high-quality sound systems and surrounding environment which is definitely not possible through TV or computers.

Hence

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, the emotional transfer can be damaged partially in online

events

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. In conclusion, regarding remote

events

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although

Linking Words

there is a negative point in terms of feelings, I think positive points are much more important. Human beings naturally follow convenience and appreciate saving attitudes. So I partially agree with

this

Linking Words

approach.

Submitted by mahjoubitina on Tue Nov 08 2022

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task achievement

Consider adding more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing the convenience and cost-saving benefits of online performances, you could mention specific events or statistics that illustrate how people save money and time by watching from home.

task achievement

To improve your task response score, it might help to more explicitly state whether you agree or disagree, and to what extent, at the beginning of the essay to clearly set up your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, neatly framing your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are generally clear and well-organized, with a logical flow from one paragraph to the next.

task achievement

You effectively cover both sides of the argument, showcasing a balanced view.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
streaming
mobility issues
busy schedules
substantially cheaper
broadens cultural horizons
customize their environment
electric atmosphere
social interaction
technical issues
immersive experience

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