IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

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There has been much debate revolving around the issues that become ubiquitous in terms of the way
information
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 is gathered.
This
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 essay will discuss two major problems caused by the internet and suggest possible solutions. First and foremost, our society is getting very gullible and naive
due to
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 the fact that they always rely on a single source of
information
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.
As a result
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, it becomes very easy to manipulate people and affect their decisions, which might lead to misinformation or even propaganda.
For example
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, one of the newest sensations in America is that The White House has
their
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its
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 official
Tik tok
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TikTok
 channel, where they post interviews, speeches and even edits of President Donald Trump.
Furthermore
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, nowadays it is harder and harder to maintain privacy and secure your personal data. The majority of modern websites frequently ask to accept all the cookies and agree to
necessary
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the necessary
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 terms and conditions.
Consequently
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, the
information
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 about you is shared
and
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, and
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 there is
not any
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no
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 way around it.
For instance
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, one of the largest media platforms in the world
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, Facebook
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Facebook
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Facebook,
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 asks
to
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for
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 consent that your private
information
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 could be used in their ads and if you do not agree with
it
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it,
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 they simply block your access. To solve these
issues
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issues,
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 some actions need to be taken.
Firstly
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, schools need to increase digital literacy by teaching students to
double check
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double-check
 the
adhered
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apply
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information
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 and never fully rely on a single source. What is more, these problems
also
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 need to be acknowledged by the governments. To illustrate,
In
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in
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 Australia
officials
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, officials
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 have restricted social media use until the age of eighteen. In conclusion, the internet is beneficial
but
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, but
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 it
also
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 creates disadvantages like fake news and decreasing critical thinking skills. But the most important part is to make people aware of these challenges by educating them and implementing strict measures in order to prevent
further
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 detrimental consequences.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the problems well, but the solutions are a bit short.
task response
Make each solution match one problem in a clear way. This will make your answer stronger.
task response
Use examples that are more general or clearly true. Some examples now may sound too personal or not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas link well with words like first, furthermore, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
A few sentences are hard to follow because the meaning is not fully clear. Try to keep each sentence simple and direct.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each paragraph and then add support right after it.
task response
You answer the question and talk about both problems and solutions.
task response
Your main points are easy to see.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear paragraph plan.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cybersecurity
  • phishing
  • identity theft
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • social isolation
  • internet addiction
  • data privacy
  • digital literacy
  • regulations
  • awareness programs
  • manipulate
  • proliferation
  • consent
  • escalated
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