It is better to go out for a live performance (a show or concert) than stay at home watching TV or using the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#live #performance #show #concert #home #tv #computer

Recently, there are

increasing

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an increasing

the increasing

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number of music bands and art groups, which are well-known in public, performing in surrounding parks or plazas. Obviously, in fact, various outdoor life

are

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really welcome by humanity. At the same time, with a sort of participation, adults would

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enjoy it

enjoyit

Correct your spelling

enjoy

a lot because these exercises make them happy, and protect their bodies even their eyes in the house. It is agreed that people would like to attend those kinds of shows or concerts rather than stay at home

for

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apply

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watching TV

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apply

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or using the computer.

Firstly

, the more open areas are used by local performance, the better atmosphere is accepted by the community.

For instance

, night acoustic concerts are well done for about twelve seasons, and arise to the TOP 1 ranking of activities

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apply

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this

month, and lots of young students participate and make

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apply

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great fun.

Therefore

, a motivated society around us is gathering most

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

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humans at weekends. Men and women would like to go around for those live performances

instead

of being at home.

Secondly

, based on the public's eyesight, persons who study or work in

this

district would get on well with each other. It is obvious that many off-line performing activities are helpful to cure mental issues in their mind.

Likewise

, the rate of crimes has decreased to 12% in the past six months.

The human

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Human

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beings would live in

this

kind of peaceful and warm circumstance.

Also

, by viewing the annual statistical economic report, communities generated GDPs continuously arrive at least 6% per year. There

are

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no doubt that a wonderful era is coming soon. Despite

a long times

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long times

a long time

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sitting

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of sitting

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without movement, only walking on campus can maintain people's emotions, and positive actions act as a leading role to cure exhausted working humanity every day.Eventually, there are no more coronary heart diseases, hypertension, and other illnesses taking place. Enjoy art activities are accompanied

families

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by families

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, elder people, and specific groups today. In conclusion, more open live performances can be preferable options for humans. Even though workers or students need to use computers in the room for a while, all the live shows or concerts would be selected by the public as a better lifestyle.

Submitted by jackson.lingua on Wed Nov 09 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

365 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is better to go out for a live performance (a show or concert) than stay at home watching TV or using the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apaartment?

The growth of nline shopping one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Agree o disagree

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both sides of the argument and give your opinion.