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Band 6

Buying things on the internet, such as groceries, books and air tickets is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping this way outweigh the disadvantages.

#internet #groceries #books #air #tickets
For the time being, online shopping is becoming increasingly popular. There are some popular ordering products,
such
 as online, groceries and air tickets. Actually, there are advantages which outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
such
 as ordering without going anywhere and
payingwith
Correct your spelling
paying with
playing with
 online cash,
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 there is only
one
 negative part is
crime
Add an article
a crime
show examples
. On the
one
 hand, as we know
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping is very popular in over the world. Online shopping is working in all
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct your spelling
governments
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 there are some popular webshops,
such
 as AMAZON, ALIEXPRESS AND ALIBABA. It is clear that a large number of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 use the internet shops
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because there are a lot of conveniences.
Firstly
, many people use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping, because they should not walk anywhere for only
one
 product.
For example
, if someone wants to buy a t-shirt and he does not want to go anywhere to buy
this
, he just can order it from the website.
Secondly
, today a big number of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 is moving to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online cash because many people keep and pay for products by online purse or credit card.
For instance
, in the near
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 all
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 will pay only by credit cards, obviously,
that
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 it is so comfortable and useful, surely it makes online shopping
value
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
.
On the other hand
, in my own opinion, there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
only
one
 negative side.
This
 statement
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
 to crime. It is
obviously
Replace the word
obvious
show examples
 that nowadays hacking is so popular. Hacker is a person who robs
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online money from someone's purse.
For example
, a customer buys some things and
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 an online
paying
Replace the word
payment
show examples
. While, if there is
hacker
Add an article
a hacker
the hacker
show examples
 who robs
this
 online money, after that a
Correct your spelling
customer
show examples
costumer
Correct your spelling
customer
show examples
 and salesman will be without money. We can prevent
this
 problem
Change preposition
by
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 paying attention
Change preposition
to
show examples
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
 information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 credit
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
card
Fix the agreement mistake
cards
show examples
. In conclusion, I'm convinced that online shopping is comfortable to use,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 we should be careful with
private
Add an article
the private
show examples
 information
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 online
purse
Fix the agreement mistake
purses
show examples
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Convenience
  • Time-saving
  • Variety
  • Accessibility
  • Competitive pricing
  • Discounts
  • Cost-effective
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon footprint
  • Security risk
  • Data breach
  • Product quality
  • Consumer behavior
  • Physical inspection
  • Returns policy
What to do next:
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