Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #offences #traffic #accidents #measures #road #safety

Few

people

argue that harsh chasten driving crimes are the most significant thing to decreasing car

crash

Fix the agreement mistake

crashes

show examples

. Others,

contrast

Add the comma(s)

contrast,

show examples

think that other actions would be more efficient in increasing traffic safety.

However

, I personally think that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

except in certain cases, where more measures are involved it will be more effective, than only just tightening the

law

. One of the reasons is that every year laws and regulations are tightened, but

this

does not make the level of road

accidents

fall, but rather remains the same or even increases.

For example

people

also

break the

law

, drive 200 km/h around the city and pay high fines for violations. On the one hand, tightening the

law

and increasing fines helped solve

this

problem, but not much. I believe that a more expanded program with more measures will help more.

In addition

, if you look at the statistics, the majority of road accident culprits are

people

aged 30 to 39 years,

as well as

young

people

aged 21 to 29 years. Older

people

(60+) very rarely get into

accidents

However

, not all young

people

will be affected by simply tightening the

law

For example

: I think that in

this

case

Add a comma

case,

show examples

it would be better to issue licenses from a higher age and necessarily from an official driving school, because many

people

immediately undergo practice and buy a license, without an official statement of completion of a driving school,

this

is one of the important reasons that young

people

get into car

accidents

Secondly

, repairing and improving roads, since bad roads affect the condition of the car and the quality of the ride. In conclusion, I do not think that the key to reducing road

accidents

is strict punishment in the form of high fines or retesting of licenses, but rather a lot depends on how the state solves

this

problem without cruel measures.

Submitted by dnm.best on Wed Oct 30 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to develop each main point more thoroughly. Include more specific examples or statistics to back up your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically sequenced.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider varying sentence structures and using more cohesive devices to link ideas across paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.

Task Achievement

Both views on the topic are discussed, fulfilling the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
repeat offenses
infrastructure improvements
public awareness campaigns
reckless driving
traffic management technologies
intelligent traffic lights
speed cameras
public transportation
minimize
enhance safety
allocate funds
road signs
road safety

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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is statement? Whose responsibility is it provide food for school children?

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.