Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Few
people
argue that harsh chasten driving crimes are the most significant thing to decreasing car crash
. Others, Fix the agreement mistake
crashes
by
contrast
think that other actions would be more efficient in increasing traffic safety. Add the comma(s)
contrast,
However
, I personally think that,
except in certain cases, where more measures are involved it will be more effective, than only just tightening the Remove the comma
apply
law
.
One of the reasons is that every year laws and regulations are tightened, but this
does not make the level of road accidents
fall, but rather remains the same or even increases. For example
: people
also
break the law
, drive 200 km/h around the city and pay high fines for violations. On the one hand, tightening the law
and increasing fines helped solve this
problem, but not much. I believe that a more expanded program with more measures will help more.
In addition
, if you look at the statistics, the majority of road accident culprits are people
aged 30 to 39 years, as well as
young people
aged 21 to 29 years. Older people
(60+) very rarely get into accidents
.
However
, not all young people
will be affected by simply tightening the law
. For example
: I think that in this
case
it would be better to issue licenses from a higher age and necessarily from an official driving school, because many Add a comma
case,
people
immediately undergo practice and buy a license, without an official statement of completion of a driving school, this
is one of the important reasons that young people
get into car accidents
. Secondly
, repairing and improving roads, since bad roads affect the condition of the car and the quality of the ride.
In conclusion, I do not think that the key to reducing road accidents
is strict punishment in the form of high fines or retesting of licenses, but rather a lot depends on how the state solves this
problem without cruel measures.Submitted by dnm.best on
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Task Achievement
Try to develop each main point more thoroughly. Include more specific examples or statistics to back up your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically sequenced.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying sentence structures and using more cohesive devices to link ideas across paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
Task Achievement
Both views on the topic are discussed, fulfilling the task requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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