Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Few
people
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argue that harsh chasten driving crimes are the most significant thing to decreasing car
crash
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crashes
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. Others,
by
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contrast
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contrast,
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think that other actions would be more efficient in increasing traffic safety.
However
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, I personally think that
,
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apply
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except in certain cases, where more measures are involved it will be more effective, than only just tightening the
law
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. One of the reasons is that every year laws and regulations are tightened, but
this
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does not make the level of road
accidents
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fall, but rather remains the same or even increases.
For example
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:
people
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also
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break the
law
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, drive 200 km/h around the city and pay high fines for violations. On the one hand, tightening the
law
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and increasing fines helped solve
this
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problem, but not much. I believe that a more expanded program with more measures will help more.
In addition
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, if you look at the statistics, the majority of road accident culprits are
people
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aged 30 to 39 years,
as well as
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young
people
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aged 21 to 29 years. Older
people
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(60+) very rarely get into
accidents
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.
However
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, not all young
people
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will be affected by simply tightening the
law
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.
For example
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: I think that in
this
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case
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case,
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it would be better to issue licenses from a higher age and necessarily from an official driving school, because many
people
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immediately undergo practice and buy a license, without an official statement of completion of a driving school,
this
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is one of the important reasons that young
people
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get into car
accidents
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.
Secondly
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, repairing and improving roads, since bad roads affect the condition of the car and the quality of the ride. In conclusion, I do not think that the key to reducing road
accidents
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is strict punishment in the form of high fines or retesting of licenses, but rather a lot depends on how the state solves
this
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problem without cruel measures.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Task Achievement
Try to develop each main point more thoroughly. Include more specific examples or statistics to back up your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas are logically sequenced.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider varying sentence structures and using more cohesive devices to link ideas across paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
Task Achievement
Both views on the topic are discussed, fulfilling the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
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