For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Due to

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advances in

technology

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technology,

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more and more

people

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working harder to earn a lot of

moneyas

Correct your spelling

money as

well as learn

skills

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along with

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experiences. Some

people

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think that

people

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work

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hard the reason is to earn

money

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. I agree with

this

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statement and think that some public

work

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hard to learn

skills

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and help others. I will discuss my reasons for it in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

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with, there are many reasons why the public

work

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hard to earn

money

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. First and foremost,

money

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is the basic need for every individual to fulfil their daily activities.

For example

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due to

Linking Words

advanced

Fix the agreement mistake

advances

show examples

in technology and the digitalisation of the world, everything skyrocketing and for that reason, individuals working harder to earn a lot of

money

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for their daily expenses.

Secondly

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, without

money

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people

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cannot survive in the developed world,

this

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is because individuals need

money

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to buy their household chores and other things.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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work

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hard to learn some

skills

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and help their country.

For example

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, Bhagat Singh, worked hard for us to be free from British Rule and died as a brave martyr.

Hence

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, some public wants to save their

country

Change noun form

country's

show examples

people

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by socialising and

campaignings

Fix the agreement mistake

campaigning

show examples

Furthermore

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, we listen to many army officers who died in wars, it is illustrated that some

people

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also

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exist in

this

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world who

work

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harder for others. In conclusion,

money

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is a basic need for the public to survive and we cannot be denied the need for

money

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However

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, every individual does not

work

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hard to earn

money

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, some

also

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want to help others and learn

skills

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from their

work

Use synonyms

razab5469Wed Nov 09 2022

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task achievement

Your introduction sets a clear premise by stating your agreement with the idea, but it needs polish in phrasing and grammar. Consider restructuring sentences for better flow and clarity.

task achievement

While you have included examples to support your points, ensure they are directly relevant and clearly linked to the main argument of the paragraph.

task achievement

Your conclusion summarizes your points effectively, but it could be more concise. Avoid introducing new ideas in the closing paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Work on making your transitions between points smoother. Using cohesive devices more evenly throughout your essay can improve flow.

coherence and cohesion

Each paragraph should focus more clearly on a single main idea supported by relevant examples. Try to expand on your points with more detailed reasoning.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a structured introduction and conclusion which makes it easy to follow.

task achievement

You have included historical examples, such as Bhagat Singh, which enrich your argument.

task achievement

Your response addresses the question prompt fully, considering multiple perspectives.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
necessities
monetary rewards
quality of life
luxury items
dependents
responsibility
pursue
personal interests
cultural pressures
wealth accumulation
fulfillment
visible measure
correlate
secure future
comfortable lifestyle
entertainment

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For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development ?

Some people say that school studies are not useful and most important things are learnt outside the school. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples.

Annual number of rentals and sales (in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011.

Q.) Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that climate change could have a negative effect on business. Other people think that climate change could create more business opportunities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.