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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that schools are no longer necessary because students can study well at home through the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that the Internet has transformed the way people access information and learn new skills.
While
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 some people believe that
schools
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 are no longer necessary because
students
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 can study effectively at home using online resources, I strongly disagree with
this
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 view, as
schools
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 provide benefits that online learning alone cannot replace. One of the most obvious reasons is that
schools
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 offer structured learning environments and professional guidance. To illustrate, teachers are trained to design lessons, explain complex concepts, and assess
students
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’ progress.
For instance
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,
students
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 who struggle with certain subjects can receive immediate feedback and support from teachers in a classroom setting.
In addition
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,
schools
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 follow organised curricula that ensure
students
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 develop knowledge in a wide range of subjects, rather than focusing only on topics they find interesting. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
schools
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 play a crucial role in
students
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’ social and emotional development. To clarify, interacting with classmates helps young people learn teamwork, communication, and conflict resolution skills.
For example
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, group projects and classroom discussions encourage
students
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 to share ideas and respect different opinions.
Moreover
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,
schools
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 provide opportunities for extracurricular activities
such
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 as sports, music, and clubs, which help
students
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 develop talents and build friendships. To recapitulate, it is evident that
although
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 the Internet is a powerful educational tool, it cannot replace the structured instruction and social experiences offered by
schools
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.
Therefore
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, I believe that
schools
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 remain essential institutions for
students
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’ academic success and personal development.

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task
Your essay shows a clear view and good structure. To improve, add one more strong point and a short counter view to show you can see both sides. Explain more how schools give things that online work cannot.
coherence
Link ideas more smoothly. Use tiny words like also, however, and next to tie paragraphs. This will help the flow.
coherence
In the intro and in the end, state your stand clearly. Repeat your main idea in a simple way at the end.
content
Give more exact examples. For instance, you can note how teachers check work and give quick feedback, or how clubs help social skills.
task response
Clear view that schools still matter
coherence
Good order of ideas with intro, body and conclusion
content
Useful examples like feedback and group work
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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