Very few school children learn about the value of money and how to look after it, yet this is a critical life skill that should be taught as part of the school curriculum. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that nowadays just a small number of youngsters are aware of the importance of finances and how to manage them. Some people claim that
finance
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financial

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literacy should be included as a school subject. I absolutely agree with
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement and
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will extensively explain the reasons to support my opinion based on real-life examples.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, finance management is a crucial life skill in the modern world. The majority of people are taught how to work with
technologies
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technology

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and how to solve difficult mathematical equations.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a truly valuable experience, which money managing undoubtedly is, is out of
curriculum
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the curriculum

The noun phrase curriculum seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
a
Correct article usage
apply

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school graduates will not be able to look after their credits and expenses. Unfortunately, neither schools nor universities educate their student
how
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on how

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to be
financial
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financially

Financial seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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literate,
be
Correct word choice
and be

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care full with their expenses in order to avoid the risk of future burdens. Another thing is that if a child does not acknowledge the importance of wealth, they will grow into
a
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an

The article a may be incorrect. Consider changing it to agree with the beginning sound of the following word irresponsible.

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irresponsible adult who spends money without considering the consequences. I believe that
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a huge problem in our society of consumption. Children get things easily from their parents who are working hard,
then
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they prefer just going to a bank and getting
a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun credit in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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credit. Many people
Correct your spelling
are

The word a re seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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a re
Correct your spelling
are

The word a re seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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involved in high-priced addictions
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as shopping
spree
Fix the agreement mistake
sprees

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,
hazard
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hazardous

The word hazard doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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playing etc. In a nutshell, analyzing the above we can conclude that it is important to start teaching
finance
Replace the word
financial

The word finance doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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literacy and the value of money at school. By doing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the government ensures that schools graduate well-educated and responsible individuals
in
Change preposition
by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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all means of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

word
Correct your spelling
world

The word word doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the majority of the population will acknowledge the power of wealth, which will lead to a stronger community.

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