IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is an undeniable fact that today’s youth is the
future
Use synonyms
 of the nation.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion that for growth and development, it is important to invest in
education
Use synonyms
 and the
health
Use synonyms
 care system to help the younger
generation
Use synonyms
 make a contribution to the
future
Use synonyms
 country.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, investing in
education
Use synonyms
 for the young
generation
Use synonyms
 is a primary priority. Schools should have a curriculum that facilitates children to enhance their abilities in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM)
as well as
Linking Words
 in arts and humanities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 investment will diverse range of careers and stimulate innovation within the state.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many secondary and higher educational levels in Indonesia that facilitate children’s interest
such
Linking Words
 as vocational high school or college specialized in arts and engineering.
Moreover
Linking Words
, enhancing the nation’s ability in
health
Use synonyms
 care systems is
also
Linking Words
 important. Ensuring the younger
generation
Use synonyms
 to have a good mental and a strong physics ability is a wise choice to prepare the
future
Use synonyms
 of the country. Because, even though they have a higher
education
Use synonyms
, it will be useless if they can not contribute to their nation
due to
Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
 problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, there is a routine check-up for primary and secondary school students from public
health
Use synonyms
 care to prevent pupils from non-communicable diseases
such
Linking Words
 as obesity and anaemia. To summarize, the best way to prepare the
future
Use synonyms
 nation is to invest in a young
generation
Use synonyms
. I certainly agree that the country to prioritize improvement in
education
Use synonyms
 and healthcare systems.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Make sure to cover all aspects of the question comprehensively, possibly by addressing contrasting viewpoints or potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.
Task Response
For higher scores, try to develop your examples further to more directly support your arguments. Adding specific details or data could enhance the persuasiveness of your examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth and logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Using a variety of linking words can help to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revising for conciseness and clarity in some sentences to avoid redundancy and ensure every word contributes to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly establish your position and effectively summarize your argument, providing a strong framework for your essay.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, such as the educational system in Indonesia and the healthcare initiatives for students, which strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the argument, thereby making your position clear and understandable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • innovation
  • economic growth
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • entrepreneurship
  • mentorship
  • economic diversification
  • civic engagement
  • leadership training
  • cultural exchange
  • interconnected world
  • robust curriculum
  • hands-on skills
  • job-ready
  • self-reliance
  • physically and mentally healthy
  • active participants
  • global understanding
  • stimulate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: