The best way for a country to prepare for the future is to invest in young people. Do you agree or disagree?
It is an undeniable fact that today’s youth is the
future
of the nation. Nevertheless
, I personally agree with this
opinion that for growth and development, it is important to invest in education
and the health
care system to help the younger generation
make a contribution to the future
country.
To begin
with, investing in education
for the young generation
is a primary priority. Schools should have a curriculum that facilitates children to enhance their abilities in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) as well as
in arts and humanities. Furthermore
, this
investment will diverse range of careers and stimulate innovation within the state. For example
, there are many secondary and higher educational levels in Indonesia that facilitate children’s interest such
as vocational high school or college specialized in arts and engineering.
Moreover
, enhancing the nation’s ability in health
care systems is also
important. Ensuring the younger generation
to have a good mental and a strong physics ability is a wise choice to prepare the future
of the country. Because, even though they have a higher education
, it will be useless if they can not contribute to their nation due to
health
problems. For instance
, there is a routine check-up for primary and secondary school students from public health
care to prevent pupils from non-communicable diseases such
as obesity and anaemia.
To summarize, the best way to prepare the future
nation is to invest in a young generation
. I certainly agree that the country to prioritize improvement in education
and healthcare systems.Submitted by ers.2024 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Make sure to cover all aspects of the question comprehensively, possibly by addressing contrasting viewpoints or potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.
Task Response
For higher scores, try to develop your examples further to more directly support your arguments. Adding specific details or data could enhance the persuasiveness of your examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth and logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Using a variety of linking words can help to guide the reader more effectively through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revising for conciseness and clarity in some sentences to avoid redundancy and ensure every word contributes to your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly establish your position and effectively summarize your argument, providing a strong framework for your essay.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, such as the educational system in Indonesia and the healthcare initiatives for students, which strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a different aspect of the argument, thereby making your position clear and understandable.