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Band 4.5

The detailed description about crime will affect the people and cause many social problems. Some people say that the media should be strictly controlled. Do you agree or disagree?

#description #crime #people #media
As develop a lot of technologies nowadays, people can use various types of social publishing through their own phones or laptops. For
this
 reason, some folk argued that we have to prevent throurogly watching some videos, that are influenced by committing some
offense
Change the spelling
offence
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. I firmly believe that
this
 reason can not give conclusions that are affected by
public
Add an article
the public
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, who act of misconduct.
To begin
 with,
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 are worried about we received some repercussions through social news and it is related to severe problems in our society because there
are
Change the verb form
is
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 a lot of television that we can acquire some way of committing a crime while appreciating it. In fact,
however
, it will not able to get to of
behavior
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behaviour
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 or thinking based on illegal acts in each individual. The majority do not follow the videos they have watched, it is just up to their judgment wheater act wrongdoing or not. On top of that, if it is prohibited use of social media like YouTube or Facebook by the government, it can be lead to depriving the freedom that they have naturally birthright when they born. They have to choose what wheater they want and I contend that it is one of the most important parts of our life.
Moreover
, even if
by
Change preposition
apply
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they watch some publishing related to committing a crime, almost everyone does not act on
behavior
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behaviour
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. To sum up, some
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
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 believe that media are controlled in order to stop to cause a lot of social problems. Notwithstanding, all should not affect it because they can think to own forward to admirable and they have the freedom that they can want everything
Submitted by komi4144 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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