Some people prefer hobbies that require technology, whereas others prefer hobbies that do not require technology. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, a number of

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

hobbies

Use synonyms

which involve vast contributions from noteworthy engineering innovations e.g.

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

laptops

show examples

tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

tablets

show examples

etc.

Although

Linking Words

the contrasting views are

also

Linking Words

shared by others who think that

hobbies

Use synonyms

are only for reducing monotony from hustling lives and normally don’t prefer to spend time on

tech-

Correct your spelling

tech hobbies

show examples

hobbies

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, I think that

hobbies

Use synonyms

which are fairly simple e.g. table tennis, cricket etc. with regard to

involvement

Add an article

the involvement

show examples

of technology should be chosen in greater proportion.

This

Linking Words

essay will portray the reasons behind both sides of

argument

Add an article

the argument

an argument

show examples

and

also

Linking Words

mention my opinion regarding

this

Linking Words

issue. Admittedly, some people prefer

hobbies

Use synonyms

which need technology because they think that keeping

such

Linking Words

hobbies

Use synonyms

raise

Correct subject-verb agreement

raises

show examples

their levels of supremacy and uniqueness within particular age groups.

For example

Linking Words

, current young adults mostly

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

to play

Change the verb form

playing

show examples

video games online or

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

TikTok videos to spend their leisure

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

. Those who tend to win consistently in

such

Linking Words

games or become

Add an article

a star

show examples

star

Fix the agreement mistake

stars

show examples

or viral in online video-making platforms essentially like to think

themselves

Change preposition

of themselves

show examples

pretty

Change preposition

as pretty

show examples

special within

teenagers

Replace the word

teenage

show examples

groups.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

class of people can

also

Linking Words

be considerably influential and

matter

Correct article usage

a matter

show examples

of hot topic within modern civilization.

For instance

Linking Words

, those who prefer to use Facebook on smartphones or computers in their idle periods and post informative statuses on local and foreign events tend to have

higher

Add an article

a higher

show examples

number of followers.

However

Linking Words

, despite the conditions mentioned above, I think that relatively simpler

hobbies

Use synonyms

like playing various indoor and outdoor games should be chosen over other technological alternatives as they help to keep our

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

fit and healthy and fight against countless notorious diseases.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they don’t require to spend valuable moments

Change preposition

apply

show examples

learning technological details.

In addition

Linking Words

, the price involved in maintaining

such

Linking Words

non-tech

hobbies

Use synonyms

are

Change the verb form

show examples

also

Linking Words

quite low when compared with the earlier class.

For example

Linking Words

, buying a set of

cricket

Add an article

a cricket

the cricket

show examples

bat, ball or 3 stamps cost much less than buying a computer or smartphone. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion regarding the preference of tech or non-tech

hobbies

Use synonyms

, I think that

hobbies

Use synonyms

that don’t require technology should be chosen over others solely due to crucial issues like maintaining

proper

Correct article usage

a proper

show examples

body fitness level or spending comparatively lower money or less wastage of precious moments.

souravroy2k9

Nov 10, 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

369 words

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