In some countries old people who retire from work spend the money on themselves (e.g. holiday) rather than save money for their children. Is this a positive or negative development?

For the past few years, it has been observed that elderly people are focusing more on themselves than their kids when it comes to retirement finances.
Instead
of accumulating wealth for the next generation, they spend their pension on fulfilling their own wishes like travelling and taking up a hobby. I believe it to be a positive trend as it is beneficial to both retired parents and their offspring. On the retired floks’ side, It shows the increased awareness of the senior citizens’ valuing their own well-being. More often than not, elderly parents are apt to prioritize their beloved heir’s needs, which requires unconditional compromise and sacrifice. They stick to the view that they are obliged to pinch and scrape in retirement to ensure there is something left behind for their children.
However
, that attitude certainly affects their quality of life.
In contrast
, investing themselves is a much better way of life for retirees because they are able to pursue whatever they want without external restrictions. By taking up a hobby, their lives are enriched and the emptiness and the anxiety of retirement can be greatly relieved; by travelling around the world, they embrace the beauty of nature, feel more relaxed and obtain a better state of mind. Their child,
on the other hand
,
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
allowed an opportunity to live independently to strive for their own happiness.
Although
the lack of financial support from a guardian can add to the burden of the child,excessive financial support from the family does no good to individuals as they may rely too much on their parents,
thus
lacking the ability to struggle for self-improvement. Realizing that they are the ones responsible for themselves, superior qualities like resilience and perseverance can be cultivated in the process of confronting difficulties and overcoming obstacles with their own efforts.
Overall
, the shift from saving money for children to spending on retirees themselves is an advance in the elderly’s mindset and a chance for the
young’s
Change preposition
young to
show examples
display their ability.
Submitted by 1339232976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: