nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? has this been a positive or negative development?

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Technology has affected human relationships by changing the way they interact. Asserting whether
this
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phenomenon is positive or negative is based on the way it is used.
However
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,
i
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I
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am of the opinion that its downturns outweigh its benefits. With the introduction of modern technology, a fortunate turn has been taken both in business and personal
communication
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. A decade ago, people had to travel long distances to be able to negotiate with their counterparts.
In contrast
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, nowadays, various
communication
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apps have enabled individuals to take part in conferences and give speeches
while
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enjoying the serene confine of their own office.
Moreover
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, one can talk to their beloved family members from all corners of the earth. No matter which country they live in or are
traveling
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travelling
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to, with a single click, they can share the joy of visiting a monument or talk about their workplace struggles with their family and friends.
Consequently
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, because of modern technology,
communication
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has become easier and more accessible than ever before. Technological developments can make the
communication
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experience more accessible and convenient;
however
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, the isolation and detrimental effects of social media on mental health overshadow its positive consequences.
Although
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these appliances were first designed with the promise of serving humankind, their allure has enslaved human beings. In contemporary societies, People are glued to their mobile phones and laptops in a futile search for the adrenaline rush.
This
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enslavement has made individuals deprived of real, face-to-face interaction and has forced them to display a falsified picture of themselves in order to compete with others in social media.
For instance
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, people try to constantly capture their moments and post them on Instagram, believing that virtual interaction can bring about thrill and joy. Howbeit,
this
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practice only prevents them from being present and socializing with those around them. In conclusion,
although
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modernized
communication
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brings about various opportunities to benefit from, its downturns overshadow its benefits.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

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task achievement
Enhance the clarity of ideas by providing more detailed explanations or examples, especially when discussing negative effects.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using more transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly through the arguments.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses both positive and negative impacts of technology on relationships, providing a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-connected and provide a clear stance on the topic.
task achievement
The examples used, such as the use of Instagram, are relevant and help illustrate key points.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interact
  • Social media platforms
  • Networking
  • Instant messaging
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Misunderstandings
  • Emotional context
  • Superficial connections
  • Deceptive identities
  • Privacy concerns
  • Social skills
  • Video calls
  • Online presence
  • Digital communication
  • Cyber relationships
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