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Band 6.5

Behaviour in schools is getting worse. Explain the causes of this problem and suggest some possible solutions.

#behaviour #schools
Children's well-being in school is directly related to their academic performance and general behaviour.
Therefore
 current statistics which interpret that the number of misbehaved students has rapidly grown, raise a serious alarm in society. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why inadequate control and inappropriate models can be reasons and
also
 elicit potential solutions to address
this
 issue. Refusal behaviour could be caused by numerous factors
such
 as social background or parenting, but there are two main underlying reasons. First of all, neglecting the importance of specific rules, which might be set in a classroom or at home. In most cases, kids are left to themselves to learn about good manners.
Furthermore
, if youngsters do not face punishments when they disobey, the majority is likely to rebel as nothing poses a threat.
Next,
it has a detrimental influence
of
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on
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 students from high schools, who do not feel any response, and sometimes conduct the minority to bad habits.
For instance
, consuming alcohol and smoking are frequently viewed as cool stuff and signs of being mature.
Although
 most pupils seem not to be deterred by serious health issues and potential addiction in the future. There are no problems that could not be tackled. But still, a rigorous plan is required to be carried out. One advance is to enforce discipline. By
this
, specifying what is right and wrong and taking measures before the situation spirals out of control. When it comes to regulation, certainly, physical abuse is absolutely not pertinent in
this
 case, but prevalent methods
such
 as grounding or leaving them deprived without phones are practical. Another step might be to operate video surveillance at academic halls and bathrooms
,
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 because supervisors could detect concealed smokers and engage in outreach works.
Also
 mentor programme is a great source to deal with problematic learners. Psychological support and revealing individual motives for defiant attitude lead to positive long-term outcomes.
Submitted by zhanerkenakhshbek on

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses the prompt. While you've identified causes and solutions, developing each point with more specific, real-world examples and statistics could strengthen your argument and make your points more compelling. Additionally, directly addressing each part of the prompt in an organized manner can make your response more complete and coherent.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, consider using a wider range of linking phrases and topic sentences that clearly signpost the main idea of each paragraph. This will help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly. Additionally, ensuring that paragraphs flow logically from one to the next, and refining the introduction and conclusion to clearly state your thesis and summarize your main points, will enhance your essay's overall structure and coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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