Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, whcih causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugae. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #whcih #health #people #sugae

Most of the

foods

which are readily available include cool drinks that possess high sugar levels, which is the main cause of many diseases, some

people

argue, in order to reduce consumption it is suggested that these

foods

should be prohibitively expensive. I disagree with the statement

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apply

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because

food

is the primary requirement of human beings which should not infringe

Change preposition

upon by

show examples

making it excess price and I believe in order to motivate

people

to consume

the

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apply

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such

product to increase awareness regarding the consequences. foodstuff is the primary requirement of every mankind

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

meal

Add an article

the meal

a meal

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is not affordable to an average citizen that will be the most detrimental effect than health issues,

Additionally

Add a comma

,Additionally

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even prices are high when

people

tend to have

such

Add an article

a such

show examples

snack because of the taste. For ,instance in a survey conducted by Economy university students regarding

this

, it is found that

food

prices are not at all affect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumption habits.

Thus

I believe that when

food

price is increased there is no effect on the intake. The best option to mitigate these

food

habits is to increase the knowledge about the long-term side effects of

such

foods

Consequently

Add a comma

,Consequently

show examples

individuals are less keen to eat or drink

such

products which not only help them to stay healthy but

also

save a lot of money ,

furthermore

it is the government's responsibility to control ads and glucose levels in the

food

. For ,example , in ,Canada there are special Television channels that make

people

aware of the

food

side effects and long time health problems.

Hence

I believe that increasing awareness will automatically decrease consumption. In conclusion, I believe it is not viable to option to expensive

foods

that may affect some

people

below the poverty line. the best thing is to encourage

people

to get more knowledge on the effects.

Submitted by kadem.naresh286 on Thu Nov 10 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

299 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, whcih causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugae. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the government should invest in trains and subway system to prevent traffic congestion in large cities. Others, however, think it should build wider roads. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadayys, a growing number of people with heatlh problems are trying an alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some peple think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in the countryside. Discuss both views and guve your own opinions.

Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?