In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth

There are some

place

Fix the agreement mistake

places

show examples

where old age is more valuable. In my opinion, both ages play an important role.

First,

many senior

people

need to be respected by others because of some of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

participated

Replace the word

participation

show examples

in historical events.

For example

, many grandparents are

vaterant

Correct your spelling

veterans

veteran

. They bravely overcame the Great

Patriotric

Correct your spelling

Patriot

War and made a significant contribution to our existence.

Furthermore

, they have rich experience.

On the other hand

, it is important to respect children and adolescents children always have a rich imagination with many brilliant

idea

Change to a plural noun

ideas

show examples

. Compared to adults, children are brave and believe in magic and miracles.They do not doubt that they have enough strength to achieve their goals and

dream

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dreams

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. Notwithstanding the aforementioned arguments, I still believe that under no circumstances should older

people

be depreciated because of moral principles in human

life

and their wealth of knowledge. Regarding the former, seniors have devoted their whole

life

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lives

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to contributing to the growth of our society;

therefore

, treating them with dignity and respect is of paramount importance.

Coupled with

this

is that the elderly have ample

life

experience passed down from one generation to the next as valuable lessons which are essential in assisting young

people

to tackle obstacles and guiding them to the right path in

life

This

fact explains the rationale behind the reality that a great number of leaders in the world are seniors. In short, I firmly

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

that

people

of all ages alter matter be they make many significant

contribution

Change to a plural noun

contributions

show examples

to our

word

Correct your spelling

world

show examples

Sun Feb 25 2024

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task response

Aim for a stronger thesis statement in your introduction that clearly addresses the essay prompt and guides your discussion.

task response

Enhance your essay by including more detailed and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure a logical flow between your paragraphs by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will improve the reader's understanding and the overall cohesion of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Revise sentence structures for clarity and accuracy. Avoid overly complex or fragmented sentences that may confuse the reader.

coherence and cohesion

Proofread your work to correct grammatical errors and improve the overall quality of your writing. This will also help in making your ideas clearer and more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

249 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

repositories of knowledge
esteemed
insights
embedded
seeking advice
prioritizing
premium on innovation
dynamism
adaptability
technological advancements
entrepreneurs
pioneers
indispensable
stability
harmonious
progressive

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In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices like smart phones, tablets and laptop computer. Do the advantages of such development outweigh the disadvantage? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Computers are becoming an essential part of school lessons. Do the advantages of using computers for learning outweigh its disadvantages?

Some people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places like libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In most countries, young people form a large proportion of those who are unemployed. Why this is the case, and what can be done to solve the problem?

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.