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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people are doing their shopping online on the internet nowadays. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of online shopping.

#people #internet
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In the modern world, an increasing number of individuals utilize the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 to purchase products. The impending essay will discuss my view and will elaborate on the merits and demerits of
this
 statement with a logical conclusion. There are multiple reasons why online purchasing is beneficial.
To begin
 with, one of the main benefits of it is ordering worldwide
this
 is because some goods may be absent or not produced in certain nations
while
 buying online may contribute to achieving clothes from anywhere in the world.
For instance
, chips which are a part of computers are designed in
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 but they can sell them to customers on the internet.
Additionally
, buying items from the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 may contribute to saving time as people are too busy to go to physical markets, which may lead to paying by credit card and receiving the item at home. Despite these, online shopping has two possible drawbacks.
Firstly
, there is a chance of being fake products because most of the online sellers post original goods but they send the aftermarket ones for the people.
As a result
, customers may receive items with bad qualifications.
For example
, the Times announced that in 2o12, almost 44% of online orders to Toronto had bad qualities.
secondly
, it is true that online orders are unchangeable because it is some company's policy.
As a consequence
, an increasing number of individuals may lose their money. In conclusion. in recent days, a vast majority of people would like to purchase from online websites.
This
 situation has both pros and cons.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on

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Coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more developed and explicit.
Coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak. The main points need to be more connected and logically organized.
Task Achievement
The response is complete, but the ideas need to be more comprehensive and well-supported with examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
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