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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some think that people should not change th9eir jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, the company and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Introduction
It is generally argued that
job
Use synonyms
 hopping
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 employees more opportunities to gain better benefits for not only themselves but
Correct your spelling
also
alsp
Correct your spelling
also
 their
cooporation
Correct your spelling
cooperation
corporation
 as well as
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
;
dimetrically
Correct your spelling
diametrically
 opposes that, others
profound
Change the word
profoundly
show examples
 the idea that changing
job
Use synonyms
 exerts an adverse impact on both of abovementioned ones. Personally, I am of the opinion there are two sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue.
Body paragraph 1
In terms of the opponent wing, one crucial reason that would be
worthy
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worth
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mentioning
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of mentioning
show examples
 is that workers could enjoy stability at work and employees in government
office
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offices
show examples
 are considered as a typical example. Those do neither
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
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 new skill sets nor accumulate advanced knowledge because their occupation
are
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is
show examples
 run through
unchanged
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the unchanged
show examples
mechanism
Fix the agreement mistake
mechanisms
show examples
and do not have any breakthroughs over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
Besides
Linking Words
,
Add a hyphen
white-collar
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white – collar
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white–collar
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 workers in the authority system are still paid by fixed salary, even though
other fringe
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another fringe
other fringes
show examples
 until they involve in their retirement.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 not only might allow employees to feel more assured and not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
run a high risk of suffering from anxiety but
also
Linking Words
 devote their time to personal hobbies and family.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some opposing are put forward and nobody would think
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
questioning
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question
show examples
 that
job
Use synonyms
 hopping opens the doors for colleagues to explore new options in careers as well as a higher chance of being aligned with
with
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
their career ambitions. In fact, regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
applicants’ perspectives, more young people are willing to put their
job
Use synonyms
 expectations over
job
Use synonyms
securities
Fix the agreement mistake
security
show examples
for
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 they have
thirsts
Fix the agreement mistake
thirst
show examples
 for experience after graduation and they consider it will better to choose which is viable for them
instead
Linking Words
 of forcing themselves to what they just work for
living
Add an article
a living
show examples
.
Parallely
Correct your spelling
Parallelly
Parallel
,
this
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
widen
Change the verb form
widens
show examples
 the opportunities for companies to welcome new talents whose schools of
thoughts
Fix the agreement mistake
thought
show examples
 will
Correct your spelling
bring
brief
brinf
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bring
 precious
innnovatives
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innovative
innovations
 for
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business
businesse
Correct your spelling
business
 progression.
Consequently
Linking Words
, manufacturers can create the flow in human resources and open up vacancies for all workers in the market, especially
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation to generate the motivation for the workforce to drive forward the economy.
Conclusion
In conclusion, in the views of aforementioned arguments, my unshakable
convinction
Correct your spelling
conviction
 is that the advantages of
job
Use synonyms
 hopping will surpass its disadvantages due to attractive selections for
bot
Correct your spelling
both
show examples
 recruiters and candidates. In my opinion, young people are given chances to cultivate and apply practical skills
such
Linking Words
 as communication, time planning and financial management to their life when working in different environments rather than consistent workplaces with a
monotune
Correct your spelling
monotone
monotube
 volume of tasks.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job stability
  • individual development
  • career progress
  • deep experience
  • strong relationships
  • enhance skills
  • promotions
  • career growth
  • diverse experiences
  • skill sets
  • burnout
  • industry trends
  • workplace cultures
  • adaptability
  • marketability
  • employee retention
  • recruitment costs
  • continuity of operations
  • team cohesion
  • productivity
  • dynamic workforce
  • innovation
  • fresh perspectives
  • company culture
  • economic mobility
  • labor market
  • skills shortages
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