IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

It has been suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#children #vegetables #animals #outweigh
Animals
 are born ready to live, they do not need to learn much or be taken
care
 of,
animals
 can go into the wild quickly from the womb.
Although
 from a young age, humans learn how to walk and speak
additionally
 humans need to be taught how to behave in society. I will discuss some advantages and disadvantages of teaching young
kids
 some adult skills.
First
, teaching young
kids
 how to grow their own food is a great skill to develop in
kids
. For ,example growing some vegetables in the backyard can save a family a great amount of money, as well as make sure the family have enough food on their plate.
Additionally
, certain vegetables are easy to grow and do not need attention or much experience to grow beautifully. The
second
 skill in question is teaching young
kids
 how to keep
animals
, which can develop a sense of society and
care
.
For example
, if
kids
 start from a young age to take
care
 of small
animals
 like fish or hamsters, it can give them a sense of responsibility. But
also
 it must be said,
animals
 are not toys, and it can be dangerous to keep alive
animals
 to the
care
 of
kids
 who have no experience doing so. To conclude, teaching young
kids
 how to grow vegetables and keep
animals
 has its advantages and disadvantages, it all depends on the point of view.
Finally
,
kids
 are still
kids
 and need to play, they do not have much knowledge to understand what is going on around them.
Submitted by cuti.maia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • primary children
  • grow vegetables
  • keep animals
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills development
  • environmental awareness
  • health benefits
  • instilling responsibility
  • learning about food production
  • time commitment
  • maintenance costs
  • safety concerns
  • curriculum constraints
  • limited resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: