IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

While studying abroad provides an opportunity to broaden one’s experience, as also present the danger of letting influence from the host culture. How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is generally accepted that studying abroad provides wider chances for experience,
while
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 it might be dangerous to be influenced by foreign cultures. I wholeheartedly agree with the benefits of learning new cultures from other nations.
This
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 essay will demonstrate my supporting ideas throughout the following paragraphs. On the one hand, the first initial significant reason is studying overseas provides a broader sight of view. Kids will have more opportunities to meet with new things
such
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 as knowledge and culture. They will be able to learn how to adapt themself to the traditional and new lifestyle.
Moreover
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, from learning new information from foreigners, they can
also
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 expand their original culture too, to make it more well-known.
Besides
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 wider sight ,
Correct pronoun usage
it
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its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 can provide survival skills for kids.
This
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 is because the kids will have more chances to learn by themselves than the ones who live with their parents.
In addition
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, new types of foods can make a new sense of touch that might be unusual to eat.
For instance
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, in traditional Thai food, people do not eat bread as a main course, but when they are in the UK, they have to eat egg toast, so they adapt the spicy sauce flavours to make it tastier and to feel similar to Thai food. In conclusion, all the reasons mentioned above about all the advantages of being in other countries provide a large sight of views and survival skills. As a suggestion, people in the new generation should be concerned more about the traditional culture
while
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 taking new knowledge from overseas, to not lose our traditional mother's senses.

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Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position with relevant examples. Continue to develop your argument with a range of examples for stronger impact.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs focus on a single idea to maintain clarity and coherence throughout the essay.
Language
Watch out for minor errors in word choice and grammar, as they can slightly hinder the clarity of your points. Regular practice and review can help minimize these.
Language
You have effectively used a range of sentence structures and vocabulary, which enhances the readability of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic with a well-structured argument, effectively using introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Providing specific examples, such as adapting to new food habits, effectively supports your main points, demonstrating good task achievement.
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