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Writing Samples
Band 6

It is argued that mobile phones and other electronic devices have no place in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#phones #devices #place #classroom
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Many individuals say that they exclusively get a plus side from contemporary
technology
 which is part of state-of-the-art
technology
.
However
, some humans say that there is no benefit from that . It seems to me that I totally agree with
this
 statement because almost everything includes its minuses and
as well as
 pluses . On the
right
Correct word choice
other
show examples
 hand , useful changes are given to humanity through communication
technology
. In our era,
people
 do not have to stand in phone booths or go to friends' houses to socialize with them . Take
for example
people
 who lived in the 1970s , and 1980s .
Although
, in these times , their
technology
 was slightly developed it is different from ours . Now there is a big difference between them .
For example
 , we can communicate with our relatives or mates with
help
Correct article usage
the help
show examples
 of mobile phones without leaving home .The most amazing thing is that they include some features which give us a chance to see the face of the caller .
Hence
, we will not worry about the person and waste their extra time .
On the other hand
 , as
technology
 develops, humans are busy. Several groups of individuals prefer a sedentary lifestyle .
Therefore
, they could be found to have different diseases .
For instance
, heart disease . Almost 47 % of
people
 who work as a secretary suffer from
this
 sort of illness because they work sitting in one place answering calls and looking at the computer making their presentations .
Consequently
, because of
this
 they only get harm. In conclusion, even though telecommunication has its advantages which provide many opportunities it has drawbacks which destroy
people
's lives.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task response
Develop your ideas more fully to provide a more comprehensive response to the task question. Organize your ideas in a more structured and coherent manner to improve readability and logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion clearly address the main topic and purpose of the essay. Use transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Integration
  • Educational settings
  • Learning tools
  • Educational apps
  • Modern teaching methods
  • Unrestricted access
  • Distractions
  • Learning focus
  • Balanced approach
  • Usage policies
  • Pedagogical benefits
  • Classroom dynamics
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