IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

in many places the roles of mother and father are changing.do you think it is positive or negative development?

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In the age of globalisation, the role played by
parents
Use synonyms
 has been altered as compared to the past, and due to that,
parents
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 do not pay heed to look after their adolescents properly. In my perspective, there are negative consequences of
this
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 kind of shift, which along with the conclusion, would be perused in the forthcoming paragraphs. In the early times, the mothers were used to staying at their residences and were liable for the upbringing of the
children
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;
however
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, the fathers were used to playing the role of breadwinner. The ladies nowadays stand alongside the male professionals at the offices for the bread and butter almost in all nations;
nevertheless
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,
this
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 sort of feminism generates quarrels at the domestic level as the women want the involvement of the fathers in the upbringing of the youngsters. In India, which is a developing country, most
parents
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 comprising male and female professionals commute to the offices to earn money so that they can take a few hours from their busy schedule to pay attention to their
children
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, which becomes a bone of contention.
Furthermore
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, decades ago, both fathers and mothers were responsible to enrich adolescents with good virtues in order to make them good citizens.
Nonetheless
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,
this
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 is not the case nowadays as each and every individual wants to win the race for success in terms of money, which results in the negligence of the
parents
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 in nurturing their
children
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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 sort of behaviour of their
parents
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 makes them spoiled
children
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 who do not obey their
parents
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 and indulge in a bad lifestyle. In conclusion,
although
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 it is crucial earning money in order to get a better lifestyle, the significance of the adequate upbringing of adolescents cannot be overlooked.
Thus
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, people should maintain equilibration between both for the betterment of society as the youth are the future of the nation and family.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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