Bullying is a big problem in many schools. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In these days and age, schools have become the maximum crucial institutions that provide the young generation with a proper education that will allow them to develop.
However
, there is an increasing number of reported bullying cases that
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
inside in school system. In my opinion, it depends on the upbringing of
parents
and the influence of social networks.
Nevertheless
,
this
situation can be bettered
when
Rephrase
apply
show examples
if you apply strict measures to them quickly On the one hand, there are two causes of children why
do they
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bully in society. First of all, probably they grow up in an unsafe place where there is a turbulent and destructive place.
For instance
, offspring who are living in a broken family will usually see both of their
parents
hit each other.
As a result
, children understand that the relationship between father and mother has a great effect on the child, and that child commits
this
offence to a friend.
In addition
, youngsters see uneducated videos or films on the internet.
Although
,
this
is bad some
scion
Correct your spelling
scorpions
show examples
who usually
watches
Correct subject-verb agreement
watch
show examples
horror movies may get some actions and will try to
this
pass on to people.
On the other hand
, problems can be caused by the elderly and the school system. there is one solution for that giving some educational stuff
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
learning how to respect adults and be polite in school. In
this
way, students can understand and realize human rights.
Secondly
,
parents
should be corrected and teach children responses to use websites.
This
will help offspring know what kind of information will be beneficial to them.
For example
, when youngsters want to watch forced movies,
parents
can explain and give a piece of advice on the reason why
do
Verb problem
they are
show examples
not
allow
Wrong verb form
allowed
show examples
to watch it. In conclusion, the environment and advances in technology
would
Verb problem
are
show examples
the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
why kids commit anxiety about their friends.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay partially responds to the task, but the ideas are not fully developed. It lacks a clear structure and organization.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a weak logical structure and lacks coherence. There are problems with the introduction and conclusion, and the main points are not well-supported.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bullying
  • Harassment
  • Intimidation
  • Diversity
  • Adolescent
  • Mimic
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Cyberbullying
  • Peer pressure
  • Social acceptance
  • Awareness
  • Conflict resolution
  • Peer mediation
  • Consequences
  • Respect
  • Kindness
  • Open communication
  • Vulnerable
  • Buddy system
What to do next:
Look at other essays: